Falling in Love
by theblacklist2
Summary: Just a small story of Red and Lizzie confessing/working out and acting on their feelings for one another. Using songs to help write! Lizzington.
1. Chapter 1

Hi :) This is my first fic for The Blacklist i was just listening to this song and all i could think of was Red and Lizzie :O

I hope it's OK just something short, maybe a little out of character..

Disclaimer: I don't own The Blacklist or the song: Celine Dion-I'm falling into you. I wanted to do the whole song and mix it in but it was quite repetitive so i just did the chorus :D

* * *

**_I'm falling into you_**  
**_This dream could come true_**  
**_And it feels so good falling into you_**

**_I was afraid to let you in here_**  
**_Now I have learned love can't be made in fear_**  
**_The walls begin to tumble down_**  
**_And I can't even see the ground_**

He saved her again.

The butt of the gun was pointing towards her forehead, so still and dangerous. She was sure her heart stopped beating just at the sight of it. It felt different this time though. She thought this time, this time it _was _the end. And she felt suddenly frantic. She should have been thinking: There was still so much she wanted to do. She was still experiencing the grief from loosing Meera, her dad and in a twisted, messed up sort of way Tom. She needed to do more work. Put criminals away. She needed to visit her dad at the cemetery and refresh the flowers every month. She needed to talk to him. She needed to do _so_ much. She needed, at this moment to think of all those things.

But then he was behind the man with the gun and her eyes widened in a surprise. Why was she surprised? She didn't know. Of course he would come. He looked so dangerous and her insides twisted a little. Not from being afraid, or scared at how lethal he could be. Her insides twisted because she was so happy to see him. Him and his ridiculous confidence.

He didn't speak when he pulled the trigger, the echo of the bullet biting through the silence. The man dropped in front of her, the gun falling from his fingers. He didn't have to kill him, he could have talked to him, told him to drop the gun. But he didn't and it scared her when she didn't care.

She raised her eyes from the lifeless body on the ground. Red's eyes were roaming her body, checking for any scrapes or injuries.

"Lizzie." He took one stride forward but stopped just out of arms reach. "Are you hurt? Anywhere? Are you OK?"

That's when it hit her. This overwhelming sense of pain and guilt. She felt selfish, horrible and she forced herself to not look at him.

"Yes," she quickly stepped forward, avoiding any eye contact. She brushed past him hastily and she could hear sirens in the distance, he must have notified Ressler. "Thanks."

"Where are you going?" He asked but she didn't turn around.

* * *

That's what brought her to her current position. Slouched against the bedroom wall in her and Toms apartment, empty apartment. She was staying at a hotel as she cleaned the apartment out, wanting to sell it as quickly as she could. She left it sitting there for months once Tom died, not really knowing where to start. Now it was already mostly cleared out but she still had to clean the floors. She felt hidden away here though. Cooper let her leave early and surly no one would expect her to be sitting in her old bedroom drowning her feelings on wine.

She was sitting in darkness, the half full wine glass resting in her fingers. She felt hazy and a little sick but the thoughts of her father kept running through her mind, making the tears fall more often. He would hate her. God, if he knew. If he was watching down on her. If anyone knew.

Not even an hour went by when she heard him.

She could hear his footsteps and she bit down on her fist to prevent any sobs to release. Maybe he wouldn't hear her. But she knew he wouldn't leave until every room was checked.

"Please don't," she choked out when she could sense him standing in the doorway. His hand on the light switch. It hovered over it for a moment but he respected her decision and dropped his hand to his side.

She glanced up at him as he crossed the room, she could smell the aftershave that lingered on his skin and the very Red cologne that she still didn't know the name of. She would never ask him. He turned on the lamp that sat on a small bedside table, the only two objects in the room. The light was dim but it was just bright enough to see her face. He walked to the opposite side of the room to her and started to sit on the floor when her voice stopped him.

"I haven't vacuumed the floor."

He huffed a small laugh but slid his back down the wall and sat on the floor. His eyes were slightly squinted as he observed her but they instantly softened when he saw her tears and the struggle she had maintaining eye contact with him.

"Is the wine nice?" His voice was low and smooth, his eyes flickered to the bottle for the briefest of seconds before resting on her again.

Lizzie turned to look at the half empty bottle, just the sight of it made her stomach sick. "No."

"When you get your new place," Red paused, looking around the room then once again, back to her. "Please give me the honour of filling your wine cellar."

She didn't answer him. The thought of him stocking up her house with wine was a nice. But then her thoughts began running a mile a minute and she knew he was here to talk. To see what was wrong and she had no idea how to make up a lie. She needed a lie because the truth was too hard to admit.

Red pursed his lips when she didn't reply. She kept staring at the wine bottle and he wondered if she had drunk it all tonight.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke.

"Lizzie, look at me."

She very slowly and very reluctantly looked up at him and tried so hard to hold his gaze. It was a wavering gaze but her blue eyes were watching him and he felt an enormous amount of sadness for her. Seeing her upset was painful. Seeing her try mask her feelings was even worse. He worked his jaw.

"You're going to be OK."

He killed her father.

"You deserve to be happy," he continued.

He killed _her _father she reminded herself.

"And you will be."

The one person who loved her. Who cared for her.

"I don't know about that," she answered her voice surprisingly steady.

He couldn't work out what was wrong. She was usually easier to read. He could tell a real smile from a false one. The tone of her voice when she was being sarcastic. The way she parted her lips when she was focussed, intently listening. He could usually read her.

"Why don't you tell me what is on your mind? I have nowhere to be." He crossed his ankles then, his arms across his chest. He wasn't going to back down. He then unfolded his arms and slipped out of his suit jacket, emphasizing his point.

"Where's Dembe?" Lizzie asked him.

"He has the night off." Red smiled at her. "I had to force him though, he is magnificently hardworking that man."

"Red, I appreciate the help," Lizzie said quickly, not wanting to get comfortable with him. "But I really think you should go."

"Why?" Red questioned. "Unless you want to come with me? Would you like to go somewhere with a bit more light perhaps?"

"Please go."

"Lizzie, I refuse to leave you in this state."

"I'm fine!"

"You're intoxicated and upset."

"I am _not_ drunk."

"But you are upset and I find it impossible to leave if you are upset." He chewed the inside of his lip as he stared at her stubbornly.

She stood up. "Seriously, thank you for saving me today," she said, gesturing towards the door. "But I really don't have anything to share. Have you never just wanted a glass of wine before...alone?"

"Not over half a bottle, while sitting in the room I shared with my criminal ex husband."

"It's not about Tom."

"Is it about your father?"

Lizzie felt her body freeze. "No."

Red breathed out a ragged breath. "I know you can't forgive me," he rubbed his temple with his forefinger. "But if you need to yell or cry Lizzie, at me again, I think you should let it out. sweetheart."

Lizzie sat back down, wincing slightly at the word sweetheart. She didn't want to do this, not now. Not ever. She swallowed back a sob. "He was my dad."

"I know." Red nodded once, thankful he had gotten something out of her. "And I k-"

"I feel like I'm betraying him or, or I don't know," she swiped underneath her eyes. "He would just, everything I'm thinking is so wrong."

Red looked confused for a moment. "I doubt your father could ever feel betrayed by you Lizzie."

She closed her eyes tightly. "If you go now, everything will be fine by the morning I promise. I'll be ready for the next blacklister."

"I don't want to leave you." Red answered stubbornly, sighing. "Tell me what you're thinking and I'll tell you if it's wrong."

Lizzie felt herself giving in and she didn't know if it was a good thing or bad. She was tired. "It's about you."

Red ran his hand over his chin. "Do you want me to leave DC?"

She didn't answer.

"Lizzie, if you need me to leave your life I will." He pulled his legs in and stood up, reaching for his coat. "It pains me to see you upset Lizzie and it pains me even more knowing I am the cause. So i need you to tell me."

Lizzie looked up at him, her lips parting slightly.

"I," she ran her hand through her hair. "If I say this. Will you please leave straight away without answering."

He wasn't sure where she meant. Away from the room? The apartment? Her life? But he nodded. He rested his hands in his pockets.

"When the gun was pointing at me today I should have thought about everyone."

He stayed still for a moment, before asking, "who?"

"Dad, Meera..Tom.." She looked up at him, towering over her but it wasn't threatening. "I feel like I should be I don't know..grieving.. "

Red walked next to her, leaning against the wall she was sitting against. "Having a gun pointed at you makes you think of strange things Lizzie and everyone grieves differently."

"I was thinking of you."

Red raised his eyebrows and looked down at her. She was looking down too, so he only saw the brown of her hair falling loosely down her shoulders and back.

"And then I was thinking how you killed my dad but that I, that.."

"Lizzie-"

"I'm falling in love with you."

He wasn't sure he had heard right.

"And I'm not drunk right now," She continued. "Don't tell me I'm drunk. And I know it's bad. I do."

"Lizzie-"

"But you make me feel so good." Lizzie could feel the tear trailing down her cheek as she looked up at him her face scrunched in sadness . "And I don't even know why."

He looked away from her and rested the back of his head against the wall.

After several long seconds of silence, Lizzie stood up. "You know what," She swallowed, blinking her eyes repetitively. She stepped around him to leave. "I think I'll do the leaving." Embarrassing. So embarrassing

He grabbed her arm gently. "Oh, no you don't Lizzie." He gave her a small smile, trying to keep any feelings in tact. "Unless I can go with you? Somewhere with more light perhaps?"

* * *

The end! Thank you for reading and i hope it was OK!


	2. Only You

Procrastination led me to this! It is a continuation. Thank you for the reviews for the first chap! :D

I really love this song. And i think it fits Red and Lizzie really well.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist. Don't own the song either: Heartless Bastards-Only for you.

* * *

**Been a while since I felt this way about someone,  
I'd really really like to know you, more,  
Oh oh, know you, more**

He wanted her.

It had been a long, very long time since he had felt this way about anyone. Even then the way he felt for her was different. There was something about her that was just _different_. But he couldn't explain it, not out loud anyway.

But want and have were two very different things and having her was dangerous.

He sat in his leather armchair one arm resting on the armrest and the other swirling the liquid scotch in the small glass between his fingers. She faced him, sitting on the opposite couch and staring at him firmly. She looked worn out and tired but mostly annoyed.

"You're really not making this easy for me," she said.

She bit the inside of her lip, to distract herself from producing any tears. He had called Dembe to pick them up and she followed him, she didn't want to but he insisted. She could say he forced her but he really didn't. She followed him because she liked him. There really wasn't any other way to put it.

Then Dembe caught her eye in the rear view mirror and she looked away quickly. She didn't want him knowing. What if Red told him? What if Ressler found out or Cooper? _Oh god_.

"I'm not trying to make it hard for you Lizzie," he looked at her gently as he leaned forward in his seat.

"Well say something then!" She shot out a little desperately. "Dammit," she muttered looking around his stupid, wonderful home. "I don't know why I came here."

"Do you want a coffee? A drink? I make a marvelous hot choc-"

"No."

He sighed again and she wondered if he thought she was a child. A young, desperate girl who had a crush on him.

"I don't know what to do Lizzie," he rested his glass on the coaster, feeling slightly conflicted. "And I'm trying OK?"

Lizzie shook her head, trying to what? She felt deflated, embarrassed. "I'll tell you how to do it OK?" She rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on "You tell me to leave, please. And tell me I'm distorted and crazy and ridiculous for having feelings for you. And then you tell me that you don't have feelings for me."

He raised his eyebrows.

"And then I'll go home and I promise, I swear I will forget everything." She started to plead a little. "Just don't tell anyone, Red." She stared at his scotch so she didn't have to look at him. "My job is all I have. I can't lose it."

He wanted to tell her she had him. To remind her of that.

He covered his mouth with his hand a little, knowing, so knowing he should agree. Tell her to go home, tell her his feelings were strictly, professionally, emotionally complicated but he didn't love her. He should lie and keep her safe from all the people who wanted to hurt him. He should keep her safe from himself.

But she was just, he just, he wanted to be with her. Only her.

It was all so messy.

"And you know," she chuckled, knowing she was getting desperate when she started to lie. "I had drunk _a lot_ of that wine," she nodded her head slowly, widening her eyes. "I think I was...and still might be drunk..very drunk."

"I always thought drunk people told the truth."

"God dammit," Lizzie stood up, pinching the bridge of her nose as she paced back and forth. "I hate you so much right now."

Red tilted his head, smiling up at her because he knew she didn't really hate him. "Are you leaving?"

Lizzie nodded her head. "Yeah. This thing, everything I've said tonight." She waved her hand about, "just forget it."

He let his eyes droop a little as he watched her turn around and walk quickly towards the door.

She reached for the handle but his voice stopped her from turning it.

"There's just one problem, Lizzie."

He knew he shouldn't.

Lizzie closed her eyes as her hand rested on the handle. She didn't turn around.

"What is that?"

He stood up from his seat and patted the slight wrinkles in his shirt. "I'd like to know you a little more."

She opened her eyes, suddenly feeling nervous. Could she leave? Could she please just turn the handle and leave. Maybe _she _could leave his life. It would be easier than this. She didn't want confrontation. Or she did but she didn't and what did he mean? Know what? He knew everything. Most things.

"What?" She felt sick again.

"The feelings I have for you Lizzie," he walked up to her but stopped, making sure to keep a respectful distance. "Are quite extravagant."

She turned around to look at him. "Extravagant?"

"I would do anything for you, Lizzie."

"I don't think we should do this," she quickly said when he took a step forward. She wasn't ready. She hadn't thought this through.

"Do what?"

"I don't know, this." she started to stutter as he came closer. "Whatever, whatever you're doing right now."

He stopped walking towards her and smiled gently. "I thought you wanted me to make it easier for you."

"Yeah I was wrong," she quickly opened the door. "This is a lot harder."

"Lizzie," he held his hand out. "Don't leave."

Her eyes brimmed with tears but she didn't take his hand. "Don't you think this is wrong?"

"I'm probably the last person you want to discuss right and wrong with," he quirked the side of his mouth upwards. "Lizzie, please come inside. It's cold out and there's an awful draft blowing through."

She hesitated. "Mm."

"Mm?" He mimicked her. "We need to talk Lizzie and I think it's best if we do it inside. Wouldn't you agree?"

"We have talked," she replied, taking a step inside and closing the door.

"I have a few more things to say."

"OK, well, say them quickly because I have work tomorrow an-"

"Lizzie."

"And Cooper will-"

"Stop."

"OK," she winced. "Sorry."

He chuckled. "Lizzie, you are quite adorable."

She raised her eyes, annoyed. "Thanks."

He rested his hand on the wall over her head and casually leant against it. "And you are rather beautiful."

She traced her eyes from the hand on the wall, across his arms to his face, did he have to be so good-looking when he told her that?

"You know you don't have to do this."

"I want to do this," he reached his hand out and his fingers played with her knuckles. "And I think we _shouldn't_ do this."

"Then you should stop-" his fingers traced up her wrist. "Because I don't think we should do this either."

"But I want to do this." His voice was low and warm and soft and _oh_.

She watched as his face came dangerously close to hers. As his lips came dangerously close to hers. "Where's Dembe?"

He pulled back a little. "Lizzie, sweetheart, now's not the time."

She ignored him. "What does 'extravagant feelings' mean?"

He pressed his lips to hers and even though she saw it coming she was still shocked. She felt her stomach flutter, her shoulders tense then relax and her eyes fall shut. His lips were soft and the kisses were tiny, but they were _definitely_ kisses.

"It..means," he said between a few light kisses. "It means Lizzie..that..i.. am so..very much in love with you."

He had her then. She knew it and he certainly knew it when she stepped into him.

"You do something to me Lizzie," he spoke. "Only you."

He smelt so good that she pushed her face into his chest for a shy second.

"I'd like to know you a little better too." She looked up at him with pools of blue in her eyes.

He cocked an eyebrow, his mind was so busy and clustered of thoughts but she looked so sweet and innocent that he nodded. "I could arrange that." He loved how she said little. Because she knew some things were far to big.

Her hand lifted up and curled around his neck, grazing the skin and she saw the twitch in the corner of his eye. She pulled him closer, parting her lips against his.

"Lizzie."

Mm.." She felt her back hit the door as his tongue tangled with hers.

One hand caressed her face softly, his thumb running along her jaw and his other hand wrapped around her back, pushing her, albeit a little roughly, against the door.

"Lizzie.." He said her name again as their kisses turned desperate and misplaced.

"Raymond?" A soft knock came from the other side.

Lizzie's eyes shot open dramatically, and Red would have laughed if it wasn't during such an intensely _good _moment.

She darted from his grip and bolted to the couch sitting on it casually, running her hand over her mouth quickly to try to get rid of any evidence.

"Dembe!" Red opened the door. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just letting you know that I was heading off to sleep, does Lizzie need dropping home?"

"Yes!" She called.

"No."

Red turned around surprised by her answer and to be honest, a little hurt. "You want to leave?"

She shot him a look, as if to say: _Dembe can. not. know._ "It is kind of late.."

"Yes of course," he turned back to Dembe and smiled. "Please drop Lizzie home."

"Sure, are you ready?" Dembe asked Lizzie.

"Yeah," Lizzie hopped from the seat and walked over to them, she paused in front of Red. "Alright, good night, Red."

"Good night Lizzie."

She nodded and followed Dembe out the door.

"Oh and Lizzie?"

She turned around, blush high on her cheeks from memories that had already started to cloud her mind.

"Please call me when you arrive home."

She unconsciously licked her lips, "maybe."


	3. Sweetheart

Thank you so much for the reviews!

Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist and i used a good ol' Taylor Swift song for this one: Sparks Fly.

* * *

**Drop everything now**  
**Meet me in the pouring rain**  
**Kiss me on the sidewalk**  
**Take away the pain**

Lizzie stared down at her phone, contemplating. To ring or to not ring, that was the question.

Dembe had just dropped her back at her hotel and she ran, she actually ran up the stairs to call him but had a mini freak out when she got her phone out. Because everything that happened early was so bizarre and scary and she still couldn't get her head around the fact that she had actually _kissed_ Raymond Reddington. Red. Even thinking of his full name was strange in her mind.

He was a greater kisser, which was not particularly surprising and it was just how she imagined it. He was rough and soft and gentle. It felt so bad, illegal. Maybe it was illegal? It surely wasn't professional. But then it felt so good, and something that good couldn't possibly be bad..

She wondered if he liked it. He seemed so experienced in, well, everything, and she wasn't saying he was old but he was _older_ and he... basically she just hoped he liked it.

She called him.

"Lizzie." He smiled to himself as he pulled his tie loose from his neck. "It's wonderful to hear your voice, I'm assuming you arrived back to your hotel?"

She swallowed, not quite sure on when she actually decided on calling him. "Hi," She cleared her throat. "Yeah..i just wanted to let you know I was back so.."

He remained silent as he unbuttoned his shirt, waiting for her to continue.

She flopped on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. "So I'm just gonna go to sleep now."

"You're leaving me hanging here a little Lizzie."

"Um?" She hesitated. "I have work early.."

He chuckled vibrantly. "I think you're leading me on."

"What? No, no I'm not." She sat up abruptly. "My mind is just..." She eyed herself in the mirror opposite her bed, her cheeks were incredibly flushed."..really mixed up right now."

"Ah," he murmured deeply into the phone, making her eyes fall close. "Sleep well then."

She ran her fingers through her hair, wondering if her hair was that messy when she was with him. She knew she should mention the kiss, the feelings.

"You too," she quickly hung up before any words of affection slipped out.

* * *

"Agent Keen," Assistant Director Cooper, greeted her. "You're early."

"Yes sir," she nodded. "I was just thinking of finishing off a few reports before Red- Reddington arrived."

"Good work," he nodded. "Agent Ressler is not coming in today. He is off on a personal day."

"Oh?" Lizzie looked up.

"Audrey's parents are in town."

Lizzie nodded silently.

He started to speak again when his eyes narrowed and he looked over her shoulder. "Reddington, you're early."

"Good morning Harold, Lizzie." He greeted to her back. "We seem to all be rather early."

Lizzie felt her body stiffen a little. She looked down at the papers in her hand, pretending to shuffle through them, anything to avoid him.

"Do you have any one for us?" Cooper asked authoritatively, oblivious to Lizzie's sudden interest in reports.

"Ah, about that," Red smiled at Harold, pulling off his fedora and placing it a little straighter on his head.

Lizzie turned around and caught his gaze, he had on his fedora, a crisp white shirt..she quickly glanced back down at the papers.

Red narrowed his eyes. He could see her pulling away from him. "No."

Lizzie looked up, "no?"

She wouldn't even hold his gaze and it annoyed him slightly.

"You seem to have something very important in your hands," he said simply, gesturing at the report papers she was holding. "I think that shall tie you over until I have more information."

"Why did you come in then?" Cooper asked. "Are you sure you have no leads?"

"No leads," Red smiled too brightly at him. "I'm sure Agent Keen can find something else to keep her occupied without me."

She put the papers on her desk and stared at him strangely. Since when did he call her Agent Keen?

Cooper seemed to pick up on it aswell. "Are you two still working together?" Cooper looked between the two but mainly at Lizzie. "Are you still able to work with him?"

"Yes, Agent Keen," Red looked at her, pursing his lips in interest. "How is the relationship between us doing?"

What was he playing at? Was this some hidden jab at her? She stared at him, trying to read him but cut her eyes to Cooper when she couldn't.

"I will work with him." She said blandly. "If I have to."

Red let out a quick burst of laughter, catching her off guard. "Very moody Lizzie."

"Good," Cooper nodded, ignoring Red. "And you will let us know as soon as you have anything?"

"Oh, I pinky promise Harold, there are no secrets between us. "

Lizzie tried hard not to glare at him.

"I have somewhere to be," he turned on his heel and left without even looking at her.

"Agent Keen," Cooper addressed, not giving her time to stare after Red. "Finish those reports and then file them. If Reddington contacts you let me know immediately."

"Yes sir."

* * *

She called him. Again. After work this time because he hadn't called all day and he was either angry at her, ignoring her or teasing her. She knew it was going to be complicated, but this was complicated for no reason at all.

"Lizzie?"

"Why didn't you call?"

"I'm well thank you, and you? I did not have any information for you."

She leaned against her kitchen counter. "Then why did you come in?"

She could hear murmurs in the background, laughter. "Where are you?" She asked when he didn't reply.

"At a wonderful little restaurant," he answered. "No, please sweetheart, take my turn."

Lizzie felt her eyes narrow. "What?"

"Sorry, Lizzie, not you." He replied distractedly.

She rolled her eyes, did he have to call other people sweetheart? She closed her eyes, it was one word. It was nothing.

"Lizzie."

"You have to go?"

He was chuckling again to someone else, and she felt a surge of anger run through her.

"Yes, I do apologise."

She hung up on him without answering.

It wasn't going to work, she could see it. He was so infuriating. He was too reckless. He was too sarcastic and he was damn secretive.

* * *

She lay on her bed, annoyed at herself for being annoyed at him because he called someone sweetheart that wasn't her. She knew it was just him, all a part of his endearing charisma but it still ruffled her. She was restless and it embarrassed her because she knew she was wasn't usually one for jealousy, never having really experienced it. But she knew the signs and they were there. The weather started to rain outside it was cold, windy and she wanted nothing more than for him to come over.

She was literally hot and cold for him.

It wouldn't work. I want him. It's bad. I want him.

She started fidgeting: Kicking her sheets off, scanning a book, flicking the channels on the television. The least he could have done was wait until after their conversation before talking to others. He could be so damn rude.

"I'm loosing my mind," she said to out loud as she flicked off the television. "I am actually loosing my mind."

She saw her trainers out of the corner of her eye and she turned to look out the window, the rain whipping harshly against the glass.

She was going to run.

To forget everything. The kiss, the big 'i'm falling in love with you', she was going to tell him tomorrow it was a mistake. Because it was. One, it would never be allowed at work. Two, he was a criminal. Three, he was Raymond Reddington. All three mixed together was wrong and she felt a sense of relief at her decision.

She was going to run and for the first time today she felt proud of doing something for herself. A bad mistake that man was. And she was going to run in the rain until she forgot all about him.

* * *

How long had she been running for? She was so cold and wet and cold and freezing. Her face was red. Her nose was running. She stopped under a tree, her skin stinging and her legs starting to blotch in funny colours. She had no idea where she had run to and she had no idea how she was going to motivate herself to run home.

She felt the sudden urge to collapse in a heap on the grass, under the tree in the rain and just lay there. She put her hands on her hips taking a breather when she felt her phone vibrate under the sleeve of her arm in the runners strap.

She rushed to pull it out wondering if it was work. She saw his number and hesitated. She wanted to dismiss it or she needed to dismiss it. It could be work related she told herself.

She answered.

"Hello?"

"Lizzie? Where are you?" His voice sounded worried and she didn't know he was standing outside her hotel room.

"Running."

"Running? Now? In this weather?"

"Yes." She didn't want him to know she had made a mistake going for a run and that she was absolutely freezing. "It's nice," she lied. "I hope your wonderful little restaurant with all your 'sweethearts' was fun." She leant against the tree to shelter from the wind. "Shit," she muttered out loud. She wasn't going to say that, she wasn't going to let him know. "..Just kidding," she rolled her eyes at herself.

Sometimes she was so sure she could do nothing right.

"Ah," he leant against her door. "I do apologise Lizzie, it was simply an act."

"An act," she repeated. "Obviously."

"How long will you be, Lizzie?" He questioned. "I can hear your teeth chattering."

She could see the rain getting harder and she knew she was going to ask it before she even picked up the call. "Are you still busy?" She would use him for the ride which was a little cheeky but then she'd tell him she had changed her mind and she didn't think this thing, whatever it was, would work. They'd go back to chasing down blacklisters and everything would be...good.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know.." She squinted her eyes to look at the road sign. "Deliah Street.."

"I'm leaving now."

* * *

She saw his car pull up and she rolled her eyes again at the situation she found herself in. Could she not just act like a normal woman for once in her life? Standing in her small black shorts and long sleeved black shirt she felt and most likely looked absurd. She was drenched with rain and wisps of hair had started falling out of her messy bun.

When he strode out of the car it surprised her when he exited the driver's door and even more so when he wasn't holding an umbrella or wearing a jacket to wear over his white dress shirt.

"Hello," he smiled as he came towards her. "Lizzie, you must be cold."

"You're wearing suspenders."

He looked _so, so_ good. She averted her eyes from his chest. She always had this strange thing for suspenders. His shirt was a little ruffled too and she realised she had a thing for that too.

"Yes," he eyed her suspiciously. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He pursed his lips. "Why are you running in a rain storm?"

"It's not as bad as you think," she lied, feeling her shirt sticking to her body uncomfortably.

He took a moment to himself, gathering his thoughts. "I am not who you think I am, Lizzie."

Her eyebrows creased a little. "What? You don't like running in the rain?"

He chuckled quietly, "Don't change the subject."

"I've been thinking," Lizzie responded quickly.

Red didn't want to hear what she had been thinking because he knew he wouldn't like it. So before he let her elaborate he slipped his hands into his pockets and tilted his head.

"I am very, very honest when it comes to love."

God he made her nervous. "Um, OK?"

"And I don't go around calling every women I see pet names."

She scrunched her nose a little, "yeah, about that..i was-"

"No, wait," he huffed a laugh, almost looking a little shamed, something Lizzie had not seen before. "To be truthful Lizzie, I think I called the eighty year old a sweetheart because I knew you were listening."

"She was eighty?"

"Yes, she was quite lovely but I thought you had changed your mind this morning," He admitted. "I was simply acting selfishly, and again I do apologise." He ran his hand over his head.

"Wait, are you saying you were trying to make me jealous?" She widened her eyes, hands on her hips.

"It's not one of my finest moment."

She gave him a small smile. "It definitely doesn't seem like something you would do."

He smiled at her for what felt like a long time before looking away and up at the dark sky. She watched as his eyes fell close and rain splattered on his face. "I haven't stood out in the rain in a long time, it is quite exhilarating."

"Not something you do often?"

"Most definitely not."

"Kiss me."

Red turned his head from the sky to look at her. "Excuse me?"

"Please, now, like right now." She said. "Before I change my mind."

His eyes blinked dramatically at her outburst and he tried to understand her. "What happens if you change your mind?"

"I will avoid you, again, like today at work and our phone call last night." She said guilty. "And I don't want to, I don't want to change my mind because I'll just keep coming back to you anyway."

His hand ran down his face, swiping off the rainwater. "Lizzie, you never cease to amaze me."

"Why can't you just stop talking and kiss me?" She huffed. "You're always so eloquent and it's very frustrating."

He chuckled again, "Lizzie, you are quite the romantic."

She evil-eyed him in the rain. "What do you want me to say?" She asked. "That I'm in love with you? I'm not like you, I'm not good with words and grand gestures." She stepped close to him, trying to clear the hair from her face with her hand. "But I _am_ in love with you and really, I don't have anything else to say other than that."

He smiled at how gorgeous she looked in the rain, how young and happy she looked, despite her eyes conveying a little nervousness. He felt his heart constrict a little.

"This is going to work," he promised her. "If you keep saying that Lizzie, this is definitely going to work quite beautifully."

She smiled up at him, all negative thoughts cleared by the rain, by him standing there so close. She played with his suspenders. "Kiss me."

"In this rain?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Hmm," he ducked his head and leaned towards her. He paused just before touching her lips.

"You are gorgeous Lizzie." He whispered softly and slowly.

"Yeah?" She felt her lips brush over his. He tasted of rain and scotch and something else she'd have to explore further. "If you keep saying that," she brushed his lips again. "This is definitely going to work beautifully."

"Mm."

She slipped her hands up his suspenders and around his neck. His lips parted against hers instantly, demanding entrance with his tongue when she pulled him closer. She smiled into the kiss, moaning a little vocally so he'd know that she was enjoying it thoroughly. She gripped the collar of his shirt.

"Red," she said as she changed the angle of their kiss.

"Hm?"

"Stay."

His lips parted from hers and he trailed kisses along her jaw. "In this rain? I-" he found her lips again. "I want to make you a little warmer first Lizzie."

"Stay at mine."


	4. Scars

Thank you for the reviews :D

Song-Crazy Love, Van Morrison. Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist

* * *

**She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love**  
**She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love**

Red walked close behind her as she lead him out of the lift, her warm hand holding his as she pulled him along. She turned around now and then and he wondered if she was making sure he was still with her, despite their hand holding. She smiled shyly and turned back to swipe her key card.

"Just wait," she twirled her hand out of his grip and turned around to look at him. "Just for one second."

He nodded silently, watching her disappear into her hotel room. He could hear quick movement and the clanging of dishes. The side of his mouth turned up into a smile when he realised she was cleaning.

"Right," she opened the door wide after a few minutes. "Come in."

He stepped past her, looking around the room. Modernised, well furnished and plenty of space. "Very livable."

Lizzie cocked an amused eyebrow. "That doesn't sound like much of a compliment."

He ran his hand over the back of the suede couch. "No, I'm being truthful it's very nice." He looked out the wide window, it had a great view of the city. He stared out at the city lights. "You should take a shower."

"Yeah," she walked up next to him and found his hand again. "What are you going to do about your clothes?"

He was going to say something obnoxious and flirtatious but he refrained from it when he thought of the scars on his back. He wasn't sure what direction he was going to take yet, the thought niggling at the back of his mind on their drive back.

"Are you OK?" She asked quietly when the faraway look in his eyes dragged on.

He turned and spotted saw the apprehension in her eyes as she looked up at him. He lifted his free hand and lightly grazed the pad of his thumb down her cheek. "They'll dry. Go get warm."

He knew his answer didn't ease her worry but she nodded and stepped back from him, releasing his hand. "I won't be long."

He sat on the couch as she showered, running through his options. Tell her the truth, make up a lie, or hold off on the physical contact for the night. He knew the last one was going to be difficult to do without looking as if he was rejecting her. And the fact that once she kissed him he knew he wasn't going to be able to stop himself. He fiddled with his cuff links, unaware of her entrance back into the room until she sat on the couch, far enough away that they weren't touching.

He ran his eyes over her sleep wear. Little navy blue shorts that accentuated her long legs and a slouchy styled jersey that was too big for her in all areas. Her wet hair still dripping, fell loosely around her shoulders.

"You're really damp," her brow furrowed in concern.

He looked down at his shirt seeing that she was right. He realised then, that this was his opportunity to run from her, just for now. Until he had thought more seriously about how to tell her. He would use his wet clothes as an excuse to go home. A cheap way out and not his usual style.

"I guess I should-" He paused when her eyebrows raised in surprise.

She bit down on her lip, sensing what he was about to say. "Am I rushing this?" She asked him. "You don't have to stay if you're not comfortable with it.."

"Lizzie," he sighed. "It's not you."

"Wow," she failed to hide her disappointment. "I really didn't expect the it's 'not you it's me' speech from you."

"I'm not doing that speech, Lizzie."

"OK," she nodded, "what speech is it then?"

"Lizzie," He opened his arms for a hug. "Come here."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Stop changing your mind."

He chuckled. "You are quite the handful."

He slid effortlessly next to her and cupped her cheek. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, settling her wary thoughts. She smiled automatically into the kiss, her tongue exploring his mouth eagerly. He felt her hands travelling up and down his shirt and he knew she was getting dangerously close.

He quickly clasped her hands. "Lizzie, I need to tell you something."

She pulled back a little breathlessly, her cheeks flushed. "What is it?"

He sat back from her, his usual calm and collected demeanour not visible. She was staring at him with such interest it frightened him.

"I don't want this to ruin tonight but I'm a tad worried at what your reaction will be."

"It's OK," she smiled reassuringly. "You can tell me anything." She wanted to be there for him just like he had in the past, every day.

The beat of his heart quickened at her smile. "Oh, Lizzie.."

"I want to help you," she nodded. "With anything."

"You are quite lovely," he linked his fingers with hers. "But Lizzie, you must know first, that I have always wanted to keep you safe." She nodded slowly, watching him so intently so she didn't miss anything.

"I have some scars on my back."

She gave him a confused look but quickly schooled it. "That's," she stopped. "Are they OK?...Or?" She closed her eyes briefly, feeling confused. "I mean, is there -" She paused again not really sure what she was trying to say.

He smiled warmly at her, "I didn't explain that very well, Lizzie."

She looked at the own scar on her wrist. "What are your ones from?"

He grimaced very lightly. "Lizzie,"

"You don't have to explain," she told him. "It's OK."

"I got them from a fire," he admitted quietly, looking at her directly to see the moment she put two and two together. "I saw someone inside the house and I went in."

"Wow," her eyes widened, slightly taken back. "You saved them?"

He stared down at her wrist, knowing that in a matter of minutes the night was going to change. Her whole life was going to change.

He licked his lips as he stared back up at her. "It was your house, Lizzie."

It took no less than a few seconds for her to answer, "no."

"Yes," he nodded clasping his hand around her wrist gently.

"No," her eyes blinked quickly but her face, her face was so pale he wondered if she'd gone into shock.

"Lizzie, you need to breathe.."

"No you didn't," she released her wrist from his grasp and stumbled off the couch. "My dad did."

He watched her struggling. "Your dad didn't survive the fire Lizzie, he didn't make it out."

"He did!" She raised her voice. "Because he saved me."

"Can you remember seeing him?" He asked her as she backed herself against the wall, afraid she was going to fall.

She swallowed drastically, feeling like she was going to choke on her own surprise. She wanted to say yes, yes she had. But she hadn't. She just assumed. "Oh my god," she stared at him. "Oh my god."

"I'm sorry, Lizzie."

He wasn't sure how long she leant back against the wall before she spoke again, but when she spoke next her voice was steady.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I-"

"Don't tell me you couldn't," she interrupted him desperately. "You could have."

"I know it's hard to accept Lizzie, but it's complicated."

"You don't know what complicated is," she choked out angrily through her tears. "You never tell me anything! My life-" she paused, hastily wiping away her tears. "You know more about my life than I do."

He watched the tears trail down her cheeks and her fists tightly scrunched. He didn't know what to say her and he didn't dare to touch her. She pressed her hands on the table in the corner of the room.

"It was the one memory of my dad," she said. "And it was you."

"Yes."

"Why were you even there?" He gave her that look, the one that said he would not elaborate. "Why were you there?"

"Lizzie."

"Why were you there!?" She swiped her hand out and pushed the vase sitting on the table, letting it shatter on the ground. He closed his eyes at the sound.

"You don't tell me anything." She stared daggers at him but then her shoulders sagged in defeat. "I can't do this. Not anymore."

* * *

He felt conflicted. In a sense he was happy he had finally given her some truth about her past, that he didn't have to keep it from her any more. However, he ruined the one memory she had of her father. Him saving her. And he knew that's what hurt her the most.

Just over an hour had passed and he hadn't moved in his seat. His eyes drooped slightly but he knew he wasn't going to sleep and he wasn't going to leave her. The clothes he wore were still damp and it chilled him slightly, numbing him.

He heard the door handle turn but he remained seated, his head facing forward. Her footsteps padded slowly into the room and she stopped in front of him, a thick woolen blanket in her hands. She tossed it gently on him.

"You should take off your shirt, you'll get cold."

He looked up at her but she stared down at the blanket. Her eyes were puffy and red and he wanted nothing more than to just hold her.

"I'm fine." He didn't want her seeing his scars, not while she was upset.

She seemed annoyed by his answer and he was caught by surprise when she took a step forward and leaned down on her knees. She slanted forward a little and reached her hands out to unbutton his top button.

He tried to keep his breath steady as she slowly unbuttoned each one, her eyes completely focussed on each button. He found himself thinking he was glad he had an undershirt on.

"I was wrong."

His eyebrows raise, unsure of what she could be wrong about.

She flickered her eyes up at him as she paused on his fourth button. "I accused you of never having a selfless moment."

"I don't blame you."

"You save me continuously," she argued. "You really have to stop."

"I am not going to stop."

"Take it off."

He slipped his suspenders down and pulled off his dress shirt.

"I need you, Lizzie."

She looked up at him.

"And you don't need me."

"You can't say that," she told him. "I don't think you know what I need."

"You need the truth."

She nodded, her hands resting on his knees. "I think I might be finally understanding that's not always possible."

He tilted his head. "Not yet, no."

"Well," she gave him a small smile. "I guess I'll have to keep you with me then."

"What are you saying?"

She stood up and held her hand out for him to take. "I do need you," she pulled him up off the seat. "And not just for the truth," she lead him through the open doors and into her bedroom. "I need you for everything but the truth as well."

His eyes fell on the large queen bed, centred in the room. He tugged gently on her hand before she could lead him any further. "Lizzie, I promise you, one day you will find out everything. Your father, your life, everything."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"I'll help you."

She shook her head. "No, I mean thank you for saving me from the fire."

He walked close to her and linked his arms around her waist. "Anytime, Lizzie."

"I want to know why you were there," she said quietly. "But if i have to wait i can't think of a better person to wait with." She stood on her tiptoes and brushed her nose against his. "It's a little weird though."

He kissed her on the side of the mouth. "What's that?"

"That I met you so long ago," she leant her face into the crook of his neck, smelling his cologne. "Now I'm in love with you."

"Yes," he moved her towards the bed and she felt the back of her knees hit the mattress. "You are a little weird."

"Mmm," she tugged him down with her as she fell on her back. Lizzie linked her hands with his, loving the feeling of the weight of his body on hers. His kisses were desperate and hot and he started trailing his lips down her neck. She suddenly felt to hot in her jersey. She wriggled under him.

"What's the matter?" He quickly hopped off her, his eyes scanning her in worry.

She smirked. "Nothing," she pulled of her jersey. "It's just hot."

"Oh."

She revealed a delicate, silky navy blue sleeveless shirt which matched her shorts. She looked so fragile and petite. His hands trailed down arm.

"Do you always have to wear so many clothes?" She looked down at his dress shoes. "Take them off and the shirt."

He toed off his shoes and she watched him hesitate when he started to untuck his shirt.

"Do you need help?"

"No, I got it." He pulled it over his head and dropped it on the ground.

"It'll get dirty," she teased him as her eyes raked over the hairs on his chests, then the hairs travelling down from his belly button continuing down below the hem of pants. She felt her stomach warm and she quickly flickered her eyes back up to his face.

"I love you." She kneeled on her bed, reaching out for him. "And when I say I can't do this anymore," her hands brushed lightly over his stomach and around his waist, "I'm lying."

His eyes fluttered close when her fingers delicately travelled up his back. She was glad his eyes were closed because her eyes widened at how bad his scars were, how far they went. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

"I can hear your heartbeat," he said when her hands halted to a stop on his back.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

He opened his eyes, "I won't."

"You already are."

"It doesn't hurt anymore," he said slowly and hoped she got his point.

* * *

Lizzie lay on her stomach, the sheet tangled around the lower half of her body.

"So Lizzie," Red rolled on to his side and trailed his hand down her back, stopping just before the sheet. "Was it just like all your wildest dreams?"

Lizzie raised an amused eyebrow, "hmm."

He huffed, offended, then traced his hand back up her back. "It sounded like you quite enjoyed yourself."

"Hmm." She shuffled over to him and buried herself into his side. "It was OK."

"You know how to kill a mans confidence, Lizzie." He wrapped his arms around her small body, pulling her closer.

"I think your confidence is just fine, Red."

"It was fine."

"Aw," she raised her head. "I guess," she trailed her hand down between them. "If we did it again.. I'll be able to give you a more explicit answer."

His eyes twitched when she cupped him in her hand. "Lizzie.."

"What?" She whispered into his ear hotly, rubbing her hand up and down him. "You don't want to?"

He swallowed. "I'm not going to be able to last if you keep doing that."

She gave him one last stroke then ran her hand up his back. "It was amazing."

He smiled at her. "But you do still need to try again just to be sure? Isn't that right?"

"Yeah."


	5. Hanging Out

**Hello! This one is super sappy i'm a sucker for fluffy stuff and the final aired last Sunday in New Zealand (i had already watched it because i couldn't wait that long) but the first thing mum said once she watched it was, "Oh, so we know he's her father then!"**

**I was just like no mum and watched a bunch of Lizzington vids. So this was the result...sorry if it's out of character i got a little carried away! :D**

**Thank you for the reviews again :D I really appreciate each one!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist and the song is Colbie Caillat-Bubbly.**

* * *

**I've been awake for a while now**  
**You've got me feelin' like a child now**  
**'Cause every time I see your bubbly face**  
**I get the tingles in a silly place**

**It starts in my toes**  
**And I crinkle my nose**  
**Wherever it goes**  
**I always know**  
**That you make me smile**  
**Please stay for a while now**  
**Just take your time**

"Good morning, Lizzie."

She blinked her eyes unsure of how he knew she was staring at him. His eyes were closed and she couldn't even hear him breathing. Maybe he was sleeping talking...

A grin rose on her face as she snuggled down further in the sheet, embarrassed of getting caught. "How did you know?"

He opened his eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light. "Your breathing changed."

"That's creepy."

"Coming from the one watching me sleep." His voice was husky and full of sleep.

She grinned again and he bathed in the sight of her cheeky smile. Her hand crept out from under the sheet and she ran it gently up his side around to his back. She didn't tell him, not wanting to sound weird but she liked touching his scars, softly trailing her fingertips over the burnt skin. She wanted to comfort him. And even though it was still hard to comprehend, he saved her and she needed to give a little something back.

"It's raining," Red murmured.

"Well done, Sherlock."

He let out an amused breath. "Lizzie, you're very playful this morning." His hand reached out and brushed the hair falling over her eyes. He was relieved to see her with him still. After everything said last night, basically everything about him, she had the right to call it off. "What on earth has gotten into you?"

She moved closer to him and kissed him warmly on the lips. "You."

His heart soared and he gave her one of those smiles that told her she was really, really something else. She maneuvered herself carefully on top of him, her kisses long and slow as she rolled him properly onto his back. He grunted in response and she relished in the sound.

She grabbed his face in her hands gently running her finger down his cheek. His breathing grew louder and she knew now that he was definitely awake. She loved the warm feeling settling in her stomach and the way her heart seemed to skip a few beats when she kissed him. The piercing noise of her alarm however, took over her senses and she regrettably rolled off him taking the sheet with her.

"What are you doing?"

"I have a job," she told him. "And I need a shower."

He watched her climb off the bed and walk towards her wardrobe, the sheet clinging around her body though draping mostly on the ground.

"Lizzie, no," he replied stubbornly, she just ruined a wonderful moment. "I think you should stay in bed."

She took a step out of the wardrobe and looked at him. "Tempting but I'm not sure Cooper would be too impressed." She stepped back into the wardrobe, flipping through her coat hangers to decide what to wear. "Especially if he knew who I was with...and what I was doing with them," she said a little louder so he could hear her.

"But what we were doing was such fun, don't you think?"

She waddled out of the wardrobe trying not to trip over the sheet while holding her clean outfit in her other hand. He had pulled the blanket over him but was lying on his side looking at her. "Come back to bed."

"Stop trying to get me fired."

"It's raining I'm sure Harold would understand, Lizzie. It's only logical."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not coming back to bed."

"You don't sound so sure of yourself, sweetheart."

She pointed at him while holding the sheet in place with her arms. "You, you are a bad influence."

He bobbed his eyebrows boastfully. "I'll make it worth your while, I promise."

Lizzie clenched her teeth together, god she was so tempted. More than tempted. Him lying there, she could be there in four steps, three if she dropped the sheet.

"I'll be in the shower," her voice was uneven but she quickly turned before he could respond. "Make me coffee."

Red watched her slip into the bathroom and shut the door. He smiled but dropped his head into the pillow, breathing in deeply when he could smell her citrus shampoo. He knew him being here in her bed was possibly the worst and best decision he had ever made.

* * *

Lizzie slipped on her black ankle boots. She had on a pair of black jeans, Her navy blue coat was buckled and the black scarf around her neck made it almost impossible for any unnecessary touching that would stop her from going to work.

She could smell the strong scent of roasted coffee and with the small hours of sleep she had last night it smelled even stronger. After drying her hair she left it down letting it fall around her shoulders.

She opened the sliding doors connecting the bedroom to the living room. "So what are you planning on telling De-" She paused, her eyes widening at the man standing by the door. "...Dembe, hi-hey..good morning."

He smiled politely and she was sure he knew. "Good Morning, Agent Keen."

"Lizzie, I made you coffee."

Lizzie turned from Dembe to see Red gesturing towards a mug on the kitchen counter. He must have noticed her tight smile because he said, "Dembe just brought me a change of clothes over."

"Oh," Lizzie nodded. Her eyes left his to see a plastic bag filled with what looked like shards of glass on the bench. She winced.

"Would you like this in a travel mug and catch a ride to work with us?"

"Uh, no-" She shook her head. "I'm not ready yet," she stepped back towards her room. "I'll meet you guys there."

"We can wait."

"No, no-i'd prefer to take my car." She escaped into her room and fumed. He could have at least prepared her. Or, even better, not told Dembe.

Back in the living room Red chewed the inside of his mouth before looking at Dembe.

"If you don't mind Dembe, I will borrow Lizzie's bathroom to get changed. Would you start the car?"

"Sure." Dembe left quickly, sensing tension.

Red picked up his neatly folded clothes off the counter and walked over to her room. He opened the doors carefully, finding her sitting on her bed glaring at him.

"Lizzie before you say-"

"What if I walked out in my towel!" She stood up and strode towards him. "I could have been naked!"

He tilted his head, his green eyes sparkling. "Really? Naked?"

She ignored his teasing look. "You were not meant to tell anyone."

"Dembe-"

"No one was meant to know."

"Look, Lizzie," he placed his free hand on her shoulder. "I didn't tell him but... I'm sure he knows, yes."

She stared at him, clearly worried that it was going to all fall apart. If one person knew it would get out.

"Dembe, is the most trustworthy man I have ever met Lizzie, and he's my bodyguard he was bound to find out at some point."

Lizzie nodded slowly, still annoyed. "What did he say?"

"Just now?"

"When you asked him to bring a change of clothes around."

He removed his hand from her shoulder and rubbed his chin. "You really want to know?"

Her eyes widened. "Yes."

"He laughed."

She pushed him with her hand, her eyes the size of saucers. "What do you mean he laughed?"

"Well, I did tell him they got wet from the rain but he just laughed." Red shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sorry Lizzie, I think he may know."

"It's not funny, Red!"

He chuckled again. "Sweetheart, he wouldn't tell anyone and it's good having someone on our side, please relax."

She glared at him again, not amused.

"He won't tell anyone, Lizzie."

"God, fine." She muttered. "Please, though, no one else."

"I don't have anyone else to tell."

"Good." She pouted a little and he drew her in with his arm, kissing her on the forehead.

"Do you have a case for us today?" She asked quietly.

"For you Lizzie, I think I could find someone."

* * *

Lizzie walked up the stairs to his house, happy to finally just relax on a friday night and spend her weekend most likely in doors, with the threatening rain clouds covering the sky. She had been slightly on edge today. Ressler was back and it was difficult trying to not smile at Red when he did his usual teasing charade. Ressler wasn't impressed however, so she kept a stern face and told Red to hurry up and tell them or just leave. She felt a little bad when his cocky smile dropped momentarily.

She knocked on his door and glanced around her, paranoid someone was going to see her.

He opened the door wide and his smile was so bright that her whole body tingled and she smiled back, a little more shyly but just as bright. He had on a crisp white shirt but the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the tie was missing. His usual freshly pressed pants were also worn.

"Lizzie, do come in." He took her hand and lead her into his ridiculously, lovely house.

"How have you been?"

"I saw you two hours ago," she answered, a little confused at his giddy mood. "But fine, thank you."

He pulled her a bar stool out from the kitchen bench, helping her sit on it. "I'm so glad you agreed to join me for dinner."

"Yes," she nodded after he placed a quick kiss on her lips but quickly left her and went around to the other side of the kitchen bench.

He opened the pantry and pulled out a large glass bowl with something that looked a lot like dough in it.

"What's that?"

He peeled the plastic wrap off the bowl, "dough."

"You made it?"

He glanced up at her as he went to wash his hands. "I can cook, Lizzie."

"Don't you like-have cooks?"

He gave her a smile and shook his head quickly. "Lizzie, when you want to impress a beautiful woman it's always good to cook yourself."

She smiled. "So, you're trying to impress me?"

"Well, I can't see any other beautiful women, can you?"

She blushed lightly. "You might have them hiding."

"Mm, maybe," He dried his hands. "But you're my favourite."

God, he really didn't have to be so charming. She barely got rid of the previous blush before her cheeks coloured again.

"What are you making?"

"We," he said, grabbing the flour out of the pantry and dusting the bench lightly with it. "Are making pizzas."

"Pizzas?" She repeated, her tone surprised.

"Yes, I had a funny feeling you wouldn't expect it." He looked up to smile at her.

"Well, you don't really seem to be a pizza kind of guy." She hopped off the stool to go and stand next to him. "But I'm intrigued."

"You see Lizzie," he stopped kneading the dough in his hands to look at her. "I'm not all about wearing suits, having drivers, cooks and dining at fine restaurants," he smiled warmly. "I can be very versatile."

She washed her hands, wondering if she had hurt his feelings. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it in a bad way."

He leaned his arm casually on the clean part of the bench and watched her dry her hands, she seemed to be taking her time.

"Lizzie, you don't need to apologise, sweetheart. We really haven't had the chance to..how would you put it?"

"...hang?" She turned towards him.

"Hang?"

"Yeah," she smiled in amusement. "Hang out."

"I was going for enjoy each others company non-work related," He tilted his head, observing her smile. "But I guess hang can do."

Lizzie laughed. "Right, so what are we doing with these then?"

He passed her a rolling-pin. "Make a pizza base."

* * *

Lizzie sipped her wine, looking at him over the rim of her glass. They were sitting at one of his smaller, more intimate dining tables but he still had the candles and the romantic, bluesy music playing in the background.

She put her wine glass down. "Sorry for telling you to leave today at work."

He pushed his plate forward a little, his pizza diminished. He picked up a napkin dabbed his mouth and gazed at her. "I deserved it, but Donald, he's so fun isn't he?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes with a smile. "He's nice and he's a good agent. Very good."

Red nodded and moved his chair back to stand up. He refilled her wine glass and started clearing the dishes.

"I can do it," Lizzie started before he quickly shook his head.

"I've got it," she watched him stack them all up and carry them to the kitchen. "What's your favourite dessert?" He asked her as he stacked the dishwasher.

She walked over with her wine glass and took a seat at the bar stool. "Cheesecake."

He looked up, his eyes narrowed. "Ah, I should have asked earlier."

"Why?"

"I made chocolate mousse. Quite a rich one, I hope you don't mind."

"I like mousse." Lizzie said immediately. "I really," she paused. "I really don't mind what we eat and those pizzas were very nice by the way." She ran her finger around the rim of her glass. "You know you don't have to try to impress me, I'm already impressed."

He chuckled but ignored her comment because he did have to impress her. And he wouldn't stop. "They need another half hour to set," he made his way around to her. "And I'm glad you enjoyed the pizza."

She swallowed at his close proximity. "I'm too scared to cook for you now."

"Hm, so it sounds like there might be a second date?" He moved his bar stool closer to hers and took a seat, their knees touching.

"I think we skipped the whole dating thing last night."

He chuckled again, his warm breath making her shiver. She could smell the red wine.

"Lizzie, you have the most captivating eyes I have ever seen."

His gaze was always so studious and she didn't know what to say. "Uh, thanks."

"They are the most delightful colour of blue."

She glanced away from him, he made her so nervous sometimes when he complimented her. It was his voice that did it. It was so rich and honest and then his eyes just looked at her, everything in her and it was so sweet but nerve-wracking all the same. She however, couldn't help but smile shyly.

He reached for the hand that was fiddling with her wine glass.

"Would you like to stay over tonight?"

She leaned forward and pressed her lips softly against his, her free hand curling around the back of his neck. "It's Saturday tomorrow," she spoke quietly when she parted her lips from his, her nose brushing against his.

"It is."

Her hand left his neck and ran up his arm, her fingers slipping up underneath his rolled up sleeves. "We could stay in bed all day."

"We can do anything you want."

"OK," she smiled, her answer to his question.

* * *

"Your sheets are amazing."

Red rolled his sleeves down, watching her wriggle around in his bed. "They are probably a little crinkled now to," he quipped.

Lizzie didn't hear him. "You know actually, it's your shirt too." She lifted up her arms to examine the fabric she was wearing.

He found her so amusing, she was often so innocent and adorable. He climbed in next to her and pulled her close to him, his hands running up under his shirt she was wearing.

"It suits you," he nuzzled into her neck, kissing her skin softly.

"Mmm," she closed her eyes and pushed her head back into her pillow, giving him better access. "I thought this was our first date.."

"Hm, it is," he kissed her on the lips and effortlessly undid the buttons on his shirt she was wearing. "But we like to deviate a little from the rules, wouldn't you say?" He pulled the shirt apart.

Her breath caught in her throat when his lips ran down her chest, over her breast and when he started to tease her stomach, kissing dangerously low.

She shivered. "Yeah, i think maybe-we-probably could-again." She didn't even bother cringing at her babbling. Everything felt to good to care and she let him have the upper hand, do whatever he wanted.

His hands traced up her bare thighs as he leant his weight on his knees, either side of her body. He watched the parting of her lips and the flutter of her eyes as they fell close.

He pulled away his hands and just watched her. Her eyes opened when his hands stopped caressing her and she smiled up at him. "What?"

His lips fell back down to her ear. "Lizzie, I love you." He whispered into her ear. "You are beautiful."

She took a deep breath. "God, you're really good at this impressing thing it's ridiculous." She muttered then found his lips, crashing her lips against his quickly. She could feel herself losing control with him, everything he did and said just made her squirm in delight.

His weight fell on her and he wondered if he was crushing her. He was about to move when she tugged him closer, her feet raking down the back of his calves. She could feel him through his boxers and she sighed in pleasure.

"Wait," she said when his hands slipped between them.

"What is it?"

"I love you too."

* * *

Her eyes were falling shut as she lay on her side staring at him. He didn't seem to be as tired and he smiled when she struggled to keep her eyes open.

It was almost two in the morning and they had spent the last twenty minutes silently watching each other as Red traced patterns on her forearm.

"You're making me sleepy," she said, referring to his touch.

"Good," he said softly. "You need to go to sleep."

"So do you," she mumbled.

"You lead the way, Lizzie."

She smiled in the soft light coming from the lamp, on his bedside table. She moved into him and gave him a lingering kiss. Then she tucked her head under his chin, closed her eyes and enjoyed his warmth.

He waited for her breathing to steady and her eyes to stop fluttering, before turning the lamp off. He wrapped his arms around her slim waist, not caring if he ended up getting a dead arm.

He took a moment to reflect on the night, on the last couple of days and he couldn't believe it. That this woman was comfortable with him, that she was in love with him. He wouldn't ruin it.

Her arm moved in her sleep, from in between them to around his side, letting it rest on his back.

He swallowed at her gentle touch then fell asleep.


	6. Toothbrushes and Sheets

**Hello :)**

**Next chapter will actually have some drama in it! Thank you for the reviews again :D**

**Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist...**

* * *

Lizzie sat herself in one of the black work chairs. She tapped her fingers against the armrest and only half listened to what her boss was telling her, Ressler, Aram and Red. Her mind was elsewhere. It was a monday afternoon and the day was moving along so slowly. Probably because her weekend was _so_ good. Her interest in Cooper's orders peaked when he mentioned a new agent to help with the blacklist. She knew it was bound to happen sooner or later and she wondered who he had in mind.

Red was leaning against the table opposite her and despite the news about the new agent, she couldn't stop her mind from drifting to their weekend. She expected him to disappear on the Saturday. He always seemed to be off doing things, running errands and travelling half across the world to do who knows what. But he didn't. He stayed with her all day. Making her breakfast in the morning and lying in bed with her all day like they had planned. Even though they both shared the same feelings for one another, their relationship still took some getting use to. She was sleeping with him. That thought was a difficult one to _not_ think of during work. They were so intimate that her mind often struggled to realise the significance of their situation. They were in a dangerous position. There was no going back and she kind of liked that thought and hoped he did too.

She was planning on going back home on the Saturday evening but his ability to keep her attention on him, to keep her talking and his light touches kept her planted comfortably on his sofa.

She stayed the night again.

"I know it will be difficult to adjust to a new agent working with you," Harold spoke in a sombre tone. "But I think it's time and we need the help."

Lizzie glanced at Ressler who nodded silently. The death of Meera was still a sore spot throughout the bureau but the cases given to them by Red were getting harder and they needed Meera back. Or someone just as good.

"Uh, sir, if you don't mind me asking..have you chosen someone already?" Aram asked, glancing at the others.

"I will let you all know as soon as the decision is made."

"I'd love the name of the person you are choosing to bring on board before you rush into anything," Reddington spoke loudly his tone sounding light, yet demanding. "I will have someone look them over."

"I can assure you they will be experienced and trustworthy," Harold responded.

"I'm sure they are." Reddington smiled. "All the same I'd love to double-check."

Harold gave a curt nod and turned back to Lizzie and Ressler. "Are you both prepared for tonight?"

"Yes sir," Lizzie nodded, hopping from her seat. "I need to get ready." She had to find a dress, do her hair and make-up. Prepare herself for another expensive night where she had to act and look the part of someone who would be attending such events with grace and ease. Someone like Red.

"I'll pick you up at six," Ressler told her. "Here's your rings." He passed her a thin gold band and another similar one with a decent sized diamond sitting boldly in the center of it.

"Thanks." She stared at the rings in her right hand and flexed out the fingers on her left. Her ring finger now bare of any rings. _Tom_. She blinked quickly, ignoring the memories of her old rings. The rings she use to refuse to ever take off. The rings that Tom had given her when her life was so blissfully happy.

She was happy now though. When she was alone with Red she was happy. She felt warm and safe with him, knowing that he reciprocated her feelings. _That_ made her happy. She stuffed the rings quickly in her pocket and turned to leave.

Red caught up with her as she entered the elevator, sweeping in just before the doors closed. He didn't say anything but stood next to her a shoulder width apart. Lizzie turned to him, not wanting him to assume something was wrong although from his silence she guessed he already had.

"Are you sure we should get this guy drunk? I mean, he is a recovering alcoholic..."

Red put his hands in his pockets and leant back on his heels. "I'll send him back to counselling on Tuesday."

The side of her mouth turned up. "You will?"

"I've known him for a long time and you are right. It is an awful thing to do." He smiled at her. "He hasn't had a drink in five years."

"What's going to make him drink tonight then?"

Red worked his jaw turning away from her when he replied, "he recently got divorced."

Lizzie nodded as they exited the elevator and she slowed the pace of her walk as they approached her car. "I'll see you tonight then?"

"Yes," he nodded and opened her car door for her. "I hope you enjoyed your weekend," he added.

She slid herself into the driver's seat and put the keys in the ignition. "I did."

"Is something on your mind, Lizzie?" He wasn't going to ask but his continuous concern for her always won out.

"It's nothing," She gave him a tight smile but it faltered when his eyebrows knitted together. "It's just strange pretending to be married again I guess." She let out a short laugh. "I guess my last marriage was pretend anyway."

"It would be strange," Red agreed. "Do you want me to join you now and have Dembe meet me at your hotel?"

"I have to go shopping," Lizzie declined, but appreciated his offer. "Honestly I'm fine."

"It will get easier, Lizzie." He grinded his teeth to stop himself from trying to reassure her. It was easy for him to tell her that but she needed to believe it first. "I will see you this evening."

"Thank you," she smiled at him before he closed the door for her. He nodded silently, watched her reverse out of her park then went to meet Dembe.

* * *

Lizzie curled her hand in the crook of Ressler's arm as they made their way towards the entrance of the ballroom. She silently thanked the shop assistant for making it so easy to find a suitable dress for the night. Usually she would be pulling her wardrobe apart trying on anything and everything and nothing would feel quite right. She enjoyed her afternoon shopping, just relaxing and taking her time sifting through dresses. The dress she purchased was fairly high in price but she had recently sold the house and it was calling her. The dress was begging her to buy it and she told herself it was worth it. It was worth feeling pretty..and a little sexy if she may add, because it showed off a lot more than than her usual dress choices. And maybe she'd elect another 'wow' from Red and this time she'd take him seriously.

Ressler flashed their tickets to the doorman.

"Welcome, Mr and Mrs Garlett."

Ressler nodded mutely and lead Lizzie inside. Her eyes widened at the grand room, the space, the chandelier the live jazz band. It was all so sophisticated. Even the patterns on the wooden floor had her captivated. The atmosphere was _very_ romantic and the polite chattering of guests made her feel slightly royal. However, her dress didn't feel as spectacular now she looked at all the other woman.

She should be getting use to events like this with the number of them she's been to since knowing Red. Though there was always a sense of danger when attending, minds always on the job. Red didn't have a problem with that but she always felt slightly on edge. She'd quite enjoy to go to one with nothing to do other than dance and sip wine. It wasn't really her scene though. Usually on a monday night she'd be curled up on her couch staring aimlessly at the television and burning her tongue on a herbal tea. She smiled because this was exciting. It wasn't their usual dangerous situation they often found themselves in. They were just meeting a harmless contact to get information, but it still held a sense of fun and she could drink free wine. That didn't happen often.

"He got the whole lonely and rich thing right," Ressler spoke quietly as he directed her towards the bar.

Lizzie assumed he was talking about Red. When Harold ordered her and Ressler to go undercover as husband and wife, Red had scoffed, asking sarcastically who he was meant to go as. Ressler answered without a beat, "Yourself. Lonely and rich."

Red had laughed and Lizzie braced herself for some sassy comeback but he just continued to laugh, looked at her wondering why she wasn't laughing then changed the subject.

She glanced in the direction Ressler was looking. She could see Red sitting at the only empty table, one leg crossed over the other and a cigar casually perched between his fingers. His head would slightly tilt back every time he puffed out smoke. She couldn't see the front of him but he had a classic black suit on and she wanted to make a bet that he would be wearing a black bow tie. She liked the way he dressed. She'd never met a man who had owned so many suits before but his immaculate appearance always did wonders to her imagination.

She was glad he hadn't turned around because she'd probably smile and wave.

Ressler ordered her a wine and they decided to stay seated at the bar where they could see the entrance. Neither of them had seen the contact whose name was apparently, Albert. According to Red he was a regular and with a little liquid courage he was quite the chatter box. He said it would be a breeze getting the location of the next target on his Blacklist, even if he hadn't had a drink in years.

"You know Cooper's worried about us," Ressler said as they picked at the appetizers places in front of them. "With Meera and Audrey..and Tom..I think he's purposely making us all attend tonight."

"What like team bonding?" Lizzie smirked.

"I don't know I guess," Ressler chuckled as he sipped his beer. "He thinks I sit at home depressed every night."

"Do you?"

Ressler shrugged. "It's good to get out of the house."

Lizzie nodded in agreement, it was good to _sell_ her house and have to never go back. She thought about what Cooper had said earlier about a new agent joining them. It was probably a good idea. They needed someone else. Someone not just for the work but perhaps the friendship as well. Lizzie didn't have much to do with Ressler out of work and she suddenly felt bad. She went to him when she couldn't go to Red and he was there for her, he listened to her. She vowed to make more of an effort to be there for him and be more of a friend. They had gotten off to a rocky start but she trusted him and she knew he grew to trust her.

"Yeah," she replied, smiling at him. "It is."

* * *

Red loved watching people dance. Although they had to be good at it and the couple he was watching, the man was horrendous. He switched his view to another elderly couple and they just seemed to flow. The music, the stepping. It was all mesmerizing and he tilted his head, relaxed from his cigar and completely absorbed in the art of dancing.

That was until a flash of Ressler's good head of hair caught his eye and all his attention was transferred from the dancers to the woman Ressler was passing a wine to at the bar. He lowered his arm on to the table and looked at her. Properly looked at her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Red reluctantly removed his gaze from Lizzie to see a blonde woman he guessed to be around his age smiling at him. Her hand was on the back of the chair opposite him and he really didn't have time for her.

"Not at all," he smiled, not one for being rude. "It's all yours."

"Are you here alone?" She sat down in the seat, her eyelashes batting at him.

"No," Red gestured his hand in the direction where Dembe was standing.

"Isn't he one of the bodyguards?"

"Yes, mine."

"Oh!" Her eyes shone in surprise as she patted her blonde bob, she felt pleased with her pick. Someone important, successful. "It must be nice having someone look out for you."

"Very pleasant, yes." Red finished with his cigar and glanced back to Lizzie and Ressler. She had crossed her legs now and the long slit running up her black dress was quite revealing. He felt his body heat slightly and he curled his hand around the cold glass of scotch he held.

"Young love," the women caught him staring. "Those were the days weren't they?"

Red looked back to the woman and smiled charmingly. "Oh, to go back."

"How about a dance? We can try and relive our youth. " The woman gave him a flirtatious wink and he chuckled, thankfully seeing Dembe come to his aid out from the corner of his eye.

"Sir," Dembe quickly interrupted. "The phone is for you."

Red took the phone and sighed dramatically. "Timing is always against us." He looked back to the woman across from him. "I do apologise. Dembe, why don't you escort this lovely woman and enjoy a dance for me."

Dembe widened his eyes briefly to Red, displaying his discomfort but reluctantly offered his arm. The woman eagerly took it. "Oh goodness, well I won't say no!"

Red gave his friend a grin and a pat on the back. "Do enjoy." He put the phone up to his ear and walked towards Lizzie and Ressler at the bar.

"Oh, yes I am." He spoke into the phone as he took a seat next to Lizzie, she didn't turn to look at him but she could hear him quite clearly. "Well, I'm currently sitting next to a rather delightful looking young woman.." He roamed his eyes over her, ignoring Ressler's pointed look.

Red smiled to Ressler as he spoke. "No, no, the husband doesn't seem to be interested in dancing. Two left feet perhaps? "

Ressler rolled his eyes to Lizzie as Red put down his phone. "You could at least make the most of the night by taking your other half for a dance, Donald. Perhaps we should switch roles?"

"I think Liz would rather sit here and drink wine than dance with you."

"Oh," Red looked to Lizzie and he smiled when she glanced at him quickly. "I'm sure you're right. Lizzie, you look absolutely stunning by the way."

Lizzie cleared her throat, not sure who to turn to as she sat in the middle of them. She faced the bar instead and ignored Red's comment. "Has Albert arrived? We haven't seen him."

Red wanted her to turn and look at him so he could get a closer look at her face. Her eyeliner was thick and the smoky eyeshadow made him quite envious of Ressler. He thought of all the things he would do if he was in Ressler's place.

"No," He blinked once, getting sidetracked by his thoughts. "He was always one for being late I remember once, years ago-" his eyes remained on Lizzie. "It was a rather chilly night and I was attending-"

"We don't have time for stories, Reddington. You need to leave before he arrives." Ressler interrupted.

"Another time then," Red responded heartily. "I will go save Dembe. He might be a tad upset with me."

Lizzie grinned as she turned and saw Dembe twirling a woman around on the dance floor. He was very rigid but the woman didn't seem to mind, her smile growing with every turn.

* * *

"He's here."

"Finally," Ressler replied impatiently. "I'll follow him."

Lizzie nodded and watched him leave. Albert was a short man with thick black rimmed glasses. He had on a dark blue suit and he was accompanied by a very young-looking woman. She noticed him leave her at the bar and make a 'T' gesture with his hands. She let out a small chuckle to herself because she use to use that gesture when she was young. He must be going to the bathroom. She sipped her wine and crossed the floor to find another empty table. She took a seat and fiddled with her empty wine glass. She couldn't see Red but she kept her eyes on the small hallway down by the side of the bar where Ressler had followed Albert.

She could smell his cologne before he spoke and she could feel him so close that she shifted in her seat. A fulled wine glass placed in front of her and she forced herself to not turn around.

"You must come home with me tonight." Her body tensed a little when his lips grazed her ear. She scanned the room quickly, worried someone might be watching. She was meant to be be 'happily married' and she was meant to be working. She was _not_ meant to be getting turned on by him.

"Red.."

"Because I simply cannot imagine that dress falling anywhere other than on my floor tonight."

She turned her head, not entirely surprised by his forwardness but a little thrown off. Her cheek brushed against his faintly. "We're working," she whispered.

He chuckled and moved away from her a little reluctantly. He drifted his hand lightly across her bare back and down her shoulder. He sat in the seat opposite her. "Sorry."

"You should be," she couldn't help the smile forming on her lips. "I'm married remember."

"Oh, Lizzie. Please don't tell me you've fallen for Donald."

"David," she corrected him of Resslers cover name. "And it's Elizabeth."

He leaned forward in his seat and she quickly made sure Ressler wasn't coming. "Did you buy that dress today?"

"Yes."

"Marvellous choice."

She raised her eyebrow. "Yet, you want to take it off."

He laughed loudly but his voice was soft. "You can't wear it all night."

She raised her eyebrows, noticing the blonde woman that she saw Red with earlier looking at them. "You know, you could have danced with that woman. I'm not that protective."

"I didn't feel the need to," Red responded. "However, if you would like to dance.."

"No." Lizzie shook her head with a smile. She wriggled her finger to him. "Happily married."

"You're taking this cover so serious, Lizzie." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"I'm enjoying the night," Lizzie nodded. "I'm a little tired though."

"I apologise for keeping you up last night."

Her lips twitched into another smile. "No you're not."

He grinned back to her, his hand adjusting his bow tie. "I'll get you to bed early tonight."

"That's what you said last night." She replied then noticed Ressler walking towards them. "They're coming."

"Drat," Red slapped his hand lightly on the table and sat back in his chair. "We were just getting to know each other, Elizabeth."

Lizzie ignored him and looked up at Ressler. She reached her hand out for him to pull her up.

"Elizabeth, this is Albert."

Lizzie smiled sweetly and stuck her hand out to the short, stocky man. "It's so nice to meet you, Albert."

"Likewise, Elizabeth." He kissed the back of her hand. "I met your husband in the mans room and he has been telling me all about you."

"All good I hope."

Albert patted his stomach letting out a low laugh. "I assure you, it was all very pleasant."

"Who's this?" Ressler asked looking at Red and wrapping his arm around Lizzie's waist protectively.

"I actually don't know," Lizzie chuckled lightly, patting Ressler on his chest. "We didn't get that far into our conversation."

"Raymond Reddington! Well I never," Albert opened his arms wide for a strong embrace with Red. Red stood up and gave the man a hug.

"Albert, it's been awhile my friend."

Albert agreed and nodded, looking back to Lizzie and Ressler with a giant grin.

"You're not trying to steal David's lady are you, Reddington?"

* * *

"Well, we were right," Ressler said as he drove down the street of Lizzie's hotel. "Cooper was definitely doing that to keep us distracted. "

She chuckled because their mission was so easy and they had no trouble getting Albert to talk. They didn't both need to go and they could have even just sent Red. "He didn't drink though," she replied. "I guess it could have been harder, we may have had to pull out the handcuffs." She joked.

"One word of divorce and the guy broke down into a puddle of tears," Ressler smirked and parked up outside her hotel. "I was beginning to feel bad for the guy."

"Same here," Lizzie agreed, unbuckling her seat belt. "Did you want me to contact Cooper?"

"Nah," Ressler shook his head. "I can do it. See you tomorrow Keen."

Lizzie exited his car. "Thank you for being a wonderful husband...even if you didn't dance." She grinned. "Night Ressler."

He bade her goodnight again and she watched him until he turned down the end of the road. She barely had time to check her phone before Red's car parked up next to her. She pulled the back door open ready to hop in next to him but halted to a stop when she didn't see him. Her cheeks ran hot for a brief second, wondering if she had opened a complete strangers car door.

"I'm not a taxi driver, Lizzie."

Lizzie turned to his amused voice coming from the driver's seat. She grinned, "woops."

She walked around to the front passengers door, opened it and sat herself in the seat. "Hi."

"Hello."

"So," she buckled her seat belt and turned to look at him as he pulled out of the park. "Is there something wrong with my hotel room because i can buy new sheets if there's not enough cotton in them for you?"

He chuckled at her teasing tone. "Your sheets are fine, Lizzie."

"Tonight went smoothly," she commented as she turned the heater up in the car.

Red tapped his fingers lightly against the wheel then turned the heaters towards her. "His determination to not drink was admirable."

"He seemed to really love Meredith."

"He has since he was twenty-six."

"Do you think they will get back together?"

"I don't know, Lizzie."

She nodded and looked out the window, her eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "Where are we going?" She asked. "This isn't the way to your place."

"How do you feel about going for a walk?" he slowed down the car. "If you're not feeling up to it, don't feel obliged to say yes. I do recall you saying you were tired and we can go for a walk any day."

"And I can sleep any day," Lizzie gave him a smile, not mentioning the fact that she had drunk more wine than she had planned to. She was feeling wide awake. "Are we going to the beach?" She asked when she recognised the seaside street.

"Very observant," he nodded with a smile. "It's a full moon."

Lizzie nodded silently and kept her focus out the window, looking up at the moon. She smiled because she hadn't even realised that it was full and she mused that she mustn't really be that observant.

He drove up into the empty parking lot, put the car in park and let the motor run. Lizzie watched him quietly, he seemed so fascinated by the moon and she didn't want to disturb him.

"The beach is spectacular at night-time."

His voice broke her out of her own daze, staring at him. She blushed lightly and turned to look at the moon. "It is."

"Shall we walk?"

"I'm going to take off my heels," she said. "You should take your shoes off."

"Oh, no,'" he shook his head. "I will be fine in my shoes."

Lizzie slipped her feet out of her heels and ran her hands up underneath her dress.

His eyebrows raised. "What on earth are you doing?"

She laughed at his expression then lifted her hips off the seat. She peeled down her sheer stocking and pulled them off her feet.

"I was wearing stockings," she explained.

"Right, of course." He cleared his throat and nodded, removing his eyes from her legs and looking down at his own shoes.

"I'm not leaving this car until you take your shoes off."

He huffed a laugh and leant down to untie the laces on his black dress shoes. "You're making me quite adventurous, Lizzie."

* * *

He helped her slip his jacket on and he buttoned up the few buttons it had. She smiled at him as his fingers gently worked on each button. It was far too big on her but it was cosy and warm and it smelt like him. Even the smell of his cigars made her feel a little lazy and snug. Once on properly she stretched out her arms and smiled again when she couldn't see her hands. She watched him roll up his pants to his ankles and she squished her toes into the cool sand as she waited.

"Ready." He gestured down towards the sand dunes.

She dug her hands into the jacket pockets and started walking down the sand hill, feeling his presence close behind. She slowed down when his hand entered her pocket and entwined his fingers with hers. She offered him a small smile and tugged him closer, their joint hands leaving her pocket and hanging between them.

"Why do you always drive now?"

"Now?"

She looked at him. "Dembe use to drive us."

He nodded to tell her he understood then formed a good enough answer in his head before speaking. "Because when we are alone you aren't as concerned about your feelings."

He felt her grip loosen a little as she stared up at him. "What do you mean?"

"You're relaxed with me, Lizzie," He told her. "But i can't see you being as, lets say, open..with your feelings when Dembe is around and it's completely understandable."

She stopped walking but he didn't let her take her hand back. "If people find out," she said, her voice betraying the worry she continued to feel. "We are screwed."

"I wouldn't let that happen."

She narrowed her eyes at him, annoyed that he could be so calm about it. "How can you be so sure?"

"I can't be," he didn't want her to know he was constantly on edge about it. "But I will do anything in my power to not let that happen. Lizzie, i won't let anything bad happen to you."

She relented and held on to his hand a little tighter. "Are you not at least a little worried that someone will find out?"

"Depends who finds out," he replied seriously.

"So, say if Cooper found out?"

"He won't Lizzie. Unless you tell him, I promise you he will not find out."

"God, me tell him? Are you kidding?" She let out a small laugh. "I couldn't possibly imagine how bad his reaction would be."

He gave her a half-smile. "We just have to be very careful, Lizzie."

"So that's why Dembe doesn't drive us?"

"He still does." Red tilted his head down towards the end of the beach, as if to say lets keep walking. "However, I didn't think it would be necessary for him to wait in the car while we take a stroll along the beach."

She grinned. "Good point."

They walked to the end of the beach and turned around. Lizzie let go of his hand to pull up her dress. She grabbed both sides of the long slit and tied them together in a loose knot above her knees.

"Your legs will freeze," Red warned.

"Well, unless you're offering me your pants I'm not going to let my dress drag in the sand any longer."

"I could always carry you back."

Lizzie snorted. "Sure you could."

He stuffed his hands in his pocket, a small pout on his lips. "I don't have hip problems, yet, Lizzie."

"Ohh..." she shook her head with an open smile. "You can't do that."

"Hm?" He hummed innocently.

"You know that's not what i meant."

"Sometimes I don't know what you mean, I find it very stimulating."

She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. Resting her chin on his chest to look up at him, she gave him her most dazzling smile.

"I knew you would wear a bow tie tonight."

He left his hands in pocket, enjoying her need for contact as she hugged him. "You did? And was it a good decision or a bad decision?"

"Very good," she reached for his hands in his pockets and wrapped them around her waist for him. "You looked very good."

"Hmmph," He tilted his head and smiled. "Thank you, Lizzie."

* * *

"Where are we going now?" She asked, once they were back in the car and heading in, once again, the wrong direction to his house.

"Home."

"Your house is in the opposite direction," she replied.

"But your hotel is in this direction."

He pulled up into the same park he had picked her up from and pulled out his phone. She stared at him, wondering why they were parked outside her hotel. Was he dropping her off? She raised her eyebrows as he tapped on his phone.

He finished replying to Dembe and looked up from his phone. "Is everything alright?"

Her cheek pressed against the headrest as she looked at him. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not leaving."

"Then why are you dropping me off?"

His eyes softened. "I'm not dropping you off, sweetheart."

"We're staying at mine?"

"I thought we could mix it up a little."

"Oh." She rubbed her watery eyes, from the cool wind on the beach. "Of course."

He chuckled as he reached out to touch her cheek. "You just smudged your eye makeup, Lizzie."

Her eyes widened. "Oh god," she pulled down the sun visor and looked in the small mirror. "Great," she turned to look at him, her bottom lip jutted out. "I look like a panda."

* * *

Lizzie walked straight into the bathroom when they arrived to her room and filled the sink up with warm water. She washed her face and took all the bobby pins straight out out of her hair. She brushed her teeth and re-tied her hair up into a loose bun on the top of her head.

After leaving the bathroom she went to sit on her bed as she pulled her heels off again.

"Red?" She called.

He popped his head through the door, "yes?"

"I left you a present on the bathroom sink."

He turned his head to the bathroom, his left eyebrow raising. "May i ask what it is?"

"That," she paused. "Would ruin the surprise."

"I'm feeling quite nervous," he replied as he walked slowly to towards the bathroom. "My palms are feeling somewhat moist."

"You should be very, very scared!" She called as he disappeared into the bathroom.

She waited silently for him to say something but all she heard was the tap turn on and the sound of him brushing his teeth. She smiled and stayed seated on the side of her bed, her bare legs dangling off the edge and her toes pushing into the plush carpet. A few minutes went by then he walked back into her room, undoing his bow tie.

"If you don't mind me saying, Lizzie, I think that's a pretty big step in the relationship."

She smiled up at him. "Kind of is I guess."

He made his way over to her and stepped in between her knees, looking down at her adoringly. Her face was free of make up and he wasn't sure if he had ever seen a more beautiful sight. "Thank you."

"It was quite expensive..so you should probably pay me back."

He chuckled. "You make me laugh." He was sure then. He had never seen anything more beautiful.

"I'm serious," she replied, though her smile was cheeky. She carefully moved her hands up to undo his belt. "And that particular toothbrush, wasn't even on sale."

"Oh, you spoil me." Red responded with a smirk of his own, then covered her hands to stop her from pulling his belt through the loops. "I promised you an early night."

"That idea flew out the window after my third wine." Lizzie reached behind her to pull down the back zip on her dress.

"It's Tuesday tomorrow," he reminded her. "You start eight."

"Is this your subtle way to say lets just go to sleep?" The front of her dress falling only slightly down her front once the zip is apart.

"Most definitely not," He shook his head. "I'm going to grab you a glass of water first for the morning, so don't move an inch."

She bit the bottom of her lip and watched him leave.

Red made his way quickly out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He opened a couple of draws before finding some paracetamol, and filled up a large glass of water. Bringing it back in he stopped in the doorway to take in her appearance. Her dress was still clung around her but very loosely and her eyes were falling shut, her head nodding forward every few seconds.

He placed her water on her bedside table and opened the draw he suspected her sleep wear to be in. He pulled out some shorts and a light blue camisole. "Lizzie," Red said softly. "Do you want to put these on?"

She nodded mutely, "I think my previous idea from a few seconds ago flew out the window when the alcohol started to wear off," she mumbled sleepily. "Sorry."

He huffed a quiet laugh and nodded. "I thought that would be the case, do you need help?"

"Uhm," she shimmied herself out of her dress slowly. "I'm okay."

"I got it," he said quietly when she pulled her dress over her head. He took the dress from her hands and hung it carefully over the chair. Lizzie slipped on the camisole but left the shorts on the bed. Red reached out and grabbed the two pills, passing them to her along with the water.

She swallowed the pills and gulped the water down quickly. She looked up to him with weary, tired eyes, "you're nice."

"Ah," he let out another small laugh. "You are very tired..and had a bit more to drink than I previously thought."

"You're very nice," she smiled.

"And so are you," he chuckled. "Lizzie, do you want to hop up and I'll pull the covers down?"

"Okay," she stood up and moved to his side for him to pull the covers down. He rested his hand on her lower back and she climbed in, pulling the covers up high under her chin. Her eyes fell shut almost instantly.

"Are you coming to bed now?"

"I am," he brushed the few wisps of hair away from her forehead. "I'm just going to have a quick shower first."

* * *

After his shower Red dressed in his white undershirt and his black briefs he had worn under his suit pants. He silently told himself to remember to leave a change of clothes in his car for next time. He quietly opened the bathroom door and folded his clothes neatly on her dresser. Lizzie was still lying on her back when he made his way around to the right side of the bed and carefully pulled the covers back. He climbed in slowly, trying to sink into the mattress without much movement.

"Hi," she whispered, turning to face him. The soft light from the lamp highlighted her pale skin and he had the sudden urge to hold her.

"I thought you would be asleep,' he replied.

"I was waiting for you."

"Hm," he pulled her close to him, her smooth legs tangling with his. He brushed a kiss across her forehead. "I have got to get you some new sheets."

She laughed quietly against his chest and he held her a little closer as she kissed her way up to his lips, making sure to pay special attention to the underside of his jaw. "I can make you forget all about the sheets."

He made a low rumbling noise at her seductive tone.

"But it will have to wait for tomorrow," she continued, "because I'm going to fall asleep on you."


	7. Time

Hi :) Thank you for the reviews again they are so nice to read!

I hope this isn't out of character and if it's confusing the next chapter is from Red's P.O.V so hopefully that will help explain some things.

Disclaimer: Don't own Blacklist. Two songs used: Say Something, A Great Big World and You're Not Sorry, Taylor Swift.

* * *

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**  
**I'll be the one, if you want me to**  
**Anywhere I would've followed you**  
**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

**And I am feeling so small**  
**It was over my head**

"Dammit," Lizzie muttered. She let her arm drop to her side, her gun hanging loosely between her fingers. Defeat. She looked up and glared at the helicopter flying high over their heads. "Shit," she cursed, so angry with herself.

"If Reddington had received the damn right information!" Ressler growled angrily, hitting his hand down hard on the car's bonnet.

"He did," Lizzie replied, not in the mood for Ressler to put the blame on others, especially Red. "How was he meant to know he was taking a helicopter instead of a boat?" They were at a shipping terminal not an airport.

"I'll call Cooper." Ressler grabbed his phone out from his pocket, ignoring her defense. "We might be able to find him still."

Lizzie nodded, watching the helicopter disappear out of sight. She sighed. David Castona, their next blacklister was sitting in that helicopter with his smug grin and whatever other criminal plans he had up his sleeve. He played them. Albert gave them the wrong information. By purpose or not, she didn't know. She could hear Cooper on the other end of the line talking to Ressler, ordering them back to base and he didn't sound happy. She kicked a stone on the ground but it did little to ease her frustration.

"We have to go back."

"I heard," Lizzie nodded, opening the driver's door and getting in.

* * *

She retreated into her office, feeling a little deflated after the mornings events. She sat back in her chair and hung her head back to look up at the ceiling. She crinkled her nose. It needed cleaning, she could see fly spots scattered on the paint job. She was putting off writing her report about their day and what happened slash what went wrong. Her phone rang noisily in her pocket, breaking her out of her wandering thoughts. His name shone on her screen and she mused to herself that it looked a lot different from 'Nicks Pizza'. A lot nicer too.

"We lost him," Lizzie said into her phone, before any greeting. "He took a plane."

"What took you so long to get there?" Red asked, his cool, calm, almost teasing tone hit a nerve. "Who drove?"

Her eyes narrowed. "What does that have to do with anything?" She glared to the bare office wall. "_I_ drove and if your brilliant friend _Albert_ had not mislead us we might have got him."

He sighed very quietly but she caught it. "Have you tracked his whereabouts?"

"He went off the radar." Lizzie replied, not particularly bothered with the conversation anymore.

Red rubbed his chin, thinking it was indeed time for a shave. "Well, that is a problem."

"You don't think."

"I'm sensing some negative energy in this phone call, Lizzie."

"Yeah, well," she sighed, seeing Ressler beckoning her through the window. "He sat there waving at us on his helicopter and now we don't know where he is. I think I have the right to be a little annoyed...and now you have me second guessing my driving."

"Oh, you know," he replied immediately. "I didn't mean that. Of course i didn't mean it, Lizzie."

She gave a quiet hum, to say that she understood him. "Ressler's calling me, I have to go."

"Perhaps I should have Dembe bring me in?"

"Cooper's angry. I don't think you'd want to be here," she responded, hopping up from her seat and giving a small nod to Ressler.

"Cooper, angry? Now that would be a sight I'd enjoy to see. Tell me if that vein on his neck is protruding-"

"Maybe for you it is enjoyable," Lizzie smiled. "I really do have to go. Maybe I'll see you later?"

"You will definitely see me later," he answered brightly. "I will call Albert and set up another meet. Don't worry Lizzie, it will all work out in time."

"Thanks."

* * *

Red sat down in his leather sofa after his conversation with Lizzie. He flicked through his many contacts, finally landing on Albert's name. He made himself comfortable in his seat and rested his feet on his new foot stall, a practical and satisfying purchase.

"Raymond?"

"Albert, my friend, so good to hear your voice. Look, I need another-"

"Reddington— I'm really sorry, he just- I couldn't let them kill her." Albert rambled out quickly. "I didn't-i didn't know you were involved."

Reddington paused, his forehead creasing. "What are you talking about, Albert?"

"He threatened to kill Meredith!" Albert gasped out.

"What did you do?"

"I have to go-l, Raymond, forgive me."

"If you hang up this phone-" Red started coldly but was left with only the sound of the slow beep, signalling the dial tone. He tossed his phone lightly on the table, sat back in his seat and rubbed his finger along his forehead. He was left confused and slightly on edge. He didn't have long to mull over the phone call when there was an abrupt knock on his door and Dembe entered, his gun raised and leading him through the door.

"Raymond." Dembe spotted him and lowered his gun immediately. He walked towards him and passed him a single piece of paper. "You might want to see this."

Red eyed him quietly, then looked down to the piece of paper in Dembe's hand. He took it and flipped it over rather casually. Dembe observed his friend and although his face remained calm his green eyes hardened.

"Where did you get this?"

"Under the window wipers on your car," Dembe answered, walking over to the window to scan outside. "Should we go find Agent Keen?"

Red stared down at the photo, his pulse starting to quicken in pace. "No."

"No? This is- " Dembe walked back towards him and looked down at the photo in his friend's hand. "I think we should at least warn her Raymond."

"Call Kaplan and have her set up a team to watch her. Her every move. I don't want her out of their sight."

"I'll make the call."

Red nodded once, stood from his seat and walked over to the log fire he had burning away. Without a second glance he threw the photo in and watched the paper curl in the heat and burn slowly. Two fingers tapped his thigh nervously, impatiently, as he tried to work out who was blackmailing him. he was hoping it was about money. He assumed it was about money. But it didn't make it any less dangerous and he felt a surge of anger run through him. Anger at himself because he lapsed. He got too comfortable with her.

"It's done," Dembe said from behind him.

"Good," Red didn't turn his gaze from the fire. "We need to visit Albert."

"You think it's him?"

"I believe so, yes."

* * *

"Agent Keen?" Cooper addressed. "Is everything alright?"

"I was waiting to see if Reddington had contacted Albert." Lizzie looked up from her desk. "Maybe we should bring him in?"

Cooper shook his head a deep frown settling on his features. "Albert was found dead in his home half an hour ago," He responded. "Agent Ressler was sent earlier to bring him in. He just called."

Lizzie's eyes shot open. "What? How?"

"He was shot," Cooper answered. "When did you last hear from Reddington?"

"Um," Lizzie fiddled with her phone, trying to piece together who killed him and checking the time of her last call. "He called at one."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing," she replied a little too quickly. "I just told him we didn't catch Castona then he said—he said he'd _call_ Albert and set up another meet."

Cooper breathed in deeply, the lines on his forehead continuing to wrinkle from stress. "Do you think he killed him?"

"No," she replied. "I don't think so. They were...friends. They seemed to get along well."

"Since when does Reddington have friends?" Ressler interrupted, walking into the post office. His face was serious and determined as he lent his hands on the back of chair. "We can't find any traces of struggle, no prints. It was a clean job. It has to be Reddington."

"But why?" Lizzie wondered out loud.

"Probably didn't tell him what he wanted," Ressler replied. "Maybe there's more to it."

Harold squeezed the bridge of his nose. "We need to bring him in," he instructed. "Keen, ring him now."

Lizzie nodded and dialed his number. She tried to rake her brain, wondering if or why Red would kill Albert. She couldn't think of any reason he would. Surely it wasn't because he had given them the wrong information?

"Lizzie, sweet-"

"You need to come to the post office." She quickly interjected, not allowing him to finish his sentence and hoping he got the point that she wasn't alone

"For what reason?"

"Just-can you just, come?" She looked up at Cooper, giving him a questioning look.

"Tell him," he nodded to her.

"Albert was found dead at his home. Ressler found him." Lizzie said into the phone, glancing up at Ressler who had his hands on hips, ready to leap into action.

There was a crackling silence and she thought the reception had cut out. But he replied quietly, gently and she wondered if it was because he knew she'd believe him. "Lizzie, I did not kill him."

"You didn't?"

Ressler must have guessed what Red had said because he threw his head back. "What a load of-"

"Agent Ressler," Cooper shot out quickly, silencing him. "Enough. Agent Keen, tell him to come here now."

"You need to come in. We need your help."

"Unfortunately, I'm unable to do that."

Lizzie narrowed her eyes, wishing she didn't have Cooper and Ressler staring at her. "Why not?"

There was a long pregnant pause, before she asked again. "Why not?"

"Lizzie. Lizzie, you must believe me when i say this." He replied, his voice soft, a hint of regret seeping in. "I don't like doing this when you're in company, but I have to go away for a while."

"What? Where?"

"Phone, Agent Keen." Cooper stuck out his hand, sensing the conversation was going nowhere.

"Where are you going?" Lizzie slipped out quickly, before Cooper ordered her again. "Agent Keen, now."

She passed it quickly, avoiding Resslers hard stare.

"Reddington, I am ordering you in here right now. No negotiations, no excuses."

* * *

Lizzie felt empty as she unlocked her door and walked into the warmth of her hotel. Everything had gone by so quickly that she wasn't sure what to think. Cooper had told them to track Reddington down but they didn't know where to start. He didn't have a chip anymore and Aram wasn't quick enough to track his phone call. He did however, give them two more names on the list and told Cooper he would take care of Castona himself because they 'weren't up to it'. Which fueled Resslers hatred for Reddington even more. He accused him countless times of killing Albert, that she herself started doubting him. But she didn't know why and she still couldn't think of a reason. A dull headache found it's way into the spot between her eyebrows.

The worst part of the day was that he had left her. To go somewhere. He had left her and he didn't even have the decency to say goodbye. Or tell her where he was going. Or when he would be back. It shouldn't bother her she tried to tell herself. Because he always went places. Travelled here, there and everywhere. But they were together now and she needed a goodbye and personally, she didn't feel like it was much to ask for.

Her phone rang as she sat motionless on the sofa and she reached for it quickly. _Answers._

"Hello?"

"Hello, Lizzie."

She didn't answer, focusing on what she should do. She should tell the others he called, get him to call her back later so they could track him down.

"Lizzie?"

"Why didn't you say goodbye?"

"I had to leave promptly and Dembe is so organised, Lizzie, I didn't have time. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to speak to you properly. That's why I'm ringing you now."

"And that's not what I meant," Lizzie replied. "You can't just leave and not tell," she wanted to say 'me' but she needed to think professionally, for now. "Not tell Cooper. "

"When things are complicated Lizzie, unfortunately that is what I have to do. I have some business to attend to." He paused and she listened intently. "Which Harold does not need to be informed about it."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not sure on our destination. But Dembe and I are off to pay Mr Castona a friendly visit."

"Friendly?"

"Or not so friendly," Red smiled into the phone.

"Why?" She still couldn't wrap her head around it. Why he had to go without them. "We can do it together."

"Not this time, Lizzie." He responded. "I also have people watching you so-"

"You what? Why?" She asked quickly. "I don't want people watching me." She looked around her hotel room, half expecting someone to be hiding in the kitchen.

"I feel a lot better knowing you are safe when i'm away." He chuckled warmly because he knew that would be her reaction. "Please don't be stubborn about this."

"Am I in danger? Is that why you have gone?"

"You are safe," he promised. "I wouldn't leave otherwise."

Lizzie closed her eyes momentarily, letting it sink in. "When are you coming back?"

"I can't answer that yet. I don't know how long this will take."

"But you're going to come back?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes, of course."

"Why couldn't you let the FBI help? We can help catch him i know we stuffed up today but-"

"You didn't do anything wrong," he quickly assured her. "I will have Dembe send a link of information on the next few targets. Please be careful when dealing with these people, Lizzie."

Lizzie shook her head, not wanting him to end the call. "This happened so quickly." She frowned. "I was going to cook you dinner."

"I would have loved nothing more than to enjoy dinner with you or say goodbye in person at the least. What were you going to cook?"

"Then why didn't you?" She heard herself saying.

"Because I'm not sure I would have been able to go."

She sighed. "Red.. I need to ask-"

"I didn't."

"You didn't kill him?"

"No."

"Do you know who did?"

"Lizzie, I have to go. I have another call and I have to take this one, I'm so sorry."

"Okay." She replied, sensing she wasn't going to get anything more from him. "Thanks for ringing."

"I'm sorry you're upset with me."

"I love you."

"Mm," he murmured happily. "I love you, Lizzie." He replied. "Dembe is looking at me with a very, very odd look. Oh, yes Dembe, I'm talking about you."

She grinned. "You better tell him I love him too. I don't want him feeling left out."

He chuckled and she smiled again at the sound. "I will do. Oh and Lizzie, I left you a little something in your bedroom."

* * *

**Three weeks later...**

Three weeks would have manageable. Not ideal but it would have been manageable. If, _if_ he had let her know he was OK.

She felt the heat on her back as she sat alone in the park. She couldn't believe how the day had started so gray and overcast and now she sat here on an empty bench, the sun out and sky as blue and clear as a summer's day. She didn't really know what she was doing here. It was a Sunday afternoon and she had been out all morning, distracting herself. Drinking good coffee. She pulled the burn phone Red had left her on her bed, out of her pocket and she stared down at it. Such a bad thing to have. She never dared take it to work.

But then it started to vibrate, so unexpectedly in her hand and she froze.

She had called him twice in the last three weeks and he hadn't picked up. He hadn't called her, not once.

And now it was vibrating in her hand and she didn't want to pick it up. What if something was wrong? What if the only reason he was ringing was because he was hurt? What if it was Dembe calling her, being the bearer of bad news. Before she knew it the phone stilled in her hand and she cursed quietly. She quickly called back the number. He could be coming back. It had been three weeks, long enough in her books and maybe he was letting her know he was on his way back.

"Hello?"

"Lizzie." She felt her heart lurch at his warm, strong voice and she wanted him back, safely. Now.

"Hi."

She could hear his steady breathing and she pushed the phone closer to her ear.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay," she answered. "How are you?"

"Tired but well," he responded. "I miss you."

"Are you, are you coming back yet..or?"

His silence answered her question, but he replied shortly after. "Not yet."

"Have you found him yet?"

"Almost. Tell me, Lizzie. Have you sold your house yet?"

"The last open home is next Sunday," she replied. "I can't wait."

"I bet," he smiled into the phone.

"Thanks for the sheets."

"Oh, you got them?" He asked. "They are lovely aren't they? After the first wash, Lizzie. It's like sleeping on a cloud."

"Yeah," she replied, she had felt herself giving up on him calling the last week but she wouldn't let him know. It was only three weeks but she felt so out of the loop. She knew nothing. Where he was, who he was with and when he was coming back. He was talking about sheets and she just couldn't do it. She needed something, anything.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get to your calls in time."

She didn't get to his in time either, she thought. But she had called back. "It's no problem. I was just checking in."

"You haven't busted any of my security team have you?" His tone was light and his attempt at humor almost sounded strained to her ears.

"No," she replied. "But can you tell the guy who always runs when i go for a run to stop boasting? I mean seriously, they are meant to be following me surly? Not running ahead and that guy doesn't tire. It's humiliating. "

He chuckled loudly into the phone and it was so good to hear but hard when it was so far away. "I will get on to that for you."

She was close to replying when she heard Dembe in the background, calling his name.

"Lizzie?"

"You have to go."

"Yes, we are going into landing."

She wanted to ask where, but she refrained, even if he did tell her she didn't want to know. Not when the FBI were looking for him and she held that information. "Alright, I'm glad you're okay."

"I'll call you."

"Okay." She waited until she could hear the beep then pulled the phone away from her ear. She knew she was lying to herself. She did want to know where he was. She wouldn't tell, she wouldn't tell if he could just tell her where he was. So she had something.

* * *

**You don't have to call anymore  
I won't pick up the phone  
This is the last straw  
Don't wanna hurt anymore  
And you can tell me that you're sorry  
But I don't believe you baby  
Like I did before  
You're not sorry, no no oh**

**Ten weeks later...**

Ten weeks.

_I'll call you._

Why didn't he take her with him? She would have gone. She would have gone with him anywhere. If he had just asked.

She sat in her office chair, which she seemed to be doing a lot lately. Staying late at work, continuing to keep herself distracted while he was away. But there came a point, around the nine week mark where she was over it. He hadn't called since his last call but she had called him. Numerous times and he didn't answer. She stopped ringing a week ago and now she wasn't so sure he was coming back.

"Liz," Agent Murphy called out to her as she started to leave.

"Yeah?"

"Ressler, Aram and I were going to go for a drink. Please come? It's Friday and I don't want to be stuck with them," she grinned.

"Uh," Lizzie faltered. She didn't want to go. But she should go. "I-" She had nothing to do, she told herself. She had absolutely nothing to do.

"Yeah, come on Keen." Ressler nodded. "One drink."

"OK, sure." Lizzie plastered on a smile. To hell with her moping around. "Where are we going?"

* * *

Ressler tapped his fingers on his tall glass of beer as he laughed at Aram and Murphy, fighting over which song to play on the jukebox. He looked over at Lizzie, who still hadn't touched her drink.

"You don't like the wine?"

"No," Lizzie looked up and shrugged. "It's good, i just-sort of decided last week to stop the alcohol. Going through a healthy fad," she gave a small grin. She had drunk so much wine lately that she really did have to stop before she had a problem.

"What's going on with you Keen?" Ressler asked her quietly. "You've been-i don't know. Is everything OK?"

Lizzie swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "I'm fine. I'm just tired I guess, looking for a new house and work..."

"Is it about Reddington?"

"No."

Ressler eyed her. "Has he been in contact with you?"

"What?"

His eyes widened. "He has hasn't he? Jesus Liz, why didn't you tell us?"

"He hasn't."

"Come on, you really expect me to believe that?" Ressler pushed. "The guys obsessed with you."

"He hasn't been in contact with me," Lizzie said defensively. "Is that why you wanted me to come? To ask me?"

Ressler sighed. "No, sorry.. i just thought he would be back by now that's all," he took a sip of his beer.

"Another round!?" Danielle interrupted them, to Lizzie's relief. "Liz, what are drinking? I'll get you another."

"Oh, I'm-"

"She'll have an orange juice," Ressler quickly answered. "And can you tell Aram to change the damn song. What is he? fifteen?"

Danielle laughed and nodded, "Aram!" She called going back over to the bar.

"She seems pretty nice, Murphy." Ressler nodded towards Danielle.

"Yeah, I like her." Lizzie smiled.

"I'm sorry about before," Ressler gave her a quick nod. "He seemed to really like you, in his own messed up sort of way. I'm surprised he's not back that's all."

Lizzie felt her breath hitch in her throat when she felt the phone vibrate in the bottom of her bag, which rested on her legs. No. No. This was not going to happen.

"You allgood?"

"Ye-yeah." She nodded quickly. "I just need to go to the bathroom, I'll be back."

She made sure the bathroom was clear and pulled out the phone. She scrunched her eyes tightly. She had waited for over two months for him to call her. _Two months_.

"Hello?" She just needed to make sure he was OK.

"Lizzie, hel-" he faltered as if he wasn't quite sure what to say. "Lizzie."

It was strange to hear his voice. She should feel excited, happy. But she didn't. She felt relieved for his safety but that was all.

"Yeah," she answered flatly.

"How are you?"

"Great."

There was silence on the other end and she felt herself on the verge of crying already.

"How-"

"You're not coming back are you?" Lizzie asked, interrupting him. "We've been looking for you but I know it's a waste of time."

"I know it's been a long time."

"Ten weeks." She replied. "You haven't called me in ten week and you've been gone thirteen."

"It's taking longer than expected."

"You could have at least let me know you were okay," she pointed out.

"It has been hard finding the time to-" he paused, because he knew it was a pathetic excuse, but he couldn't tell her. Not yet. "I should have, yes. God knows i wanted to, Lizzie."

She hated the way her body warmed when he said her name. She shook her head. "You don't have to call anymore."

"Lizzie, you don't know how sorry i truly am."

"You don't need to."

"Li-"

"No," she cried out unexpectedly, slamming her hand down so hard on the soap dispenser. "Stop-stop calling me that." She felt her tears leaking, trailing down her cheeks. "You can't do this to me. You can't just pick up and leave and not tell me. You haven't answered my calls you haven't told me anything and you call and ask me how I am? How the hell do you think I am?!"

"Listen please-"

"No, you listen." She stopped him, surprising herself. She wiped her tears away. "We-we are over." She took in a ragged breath. "We are over. I have waited for you to come back for so long did you even-" She swallowed. "Did you even think how this would affect me? This needs to-" She pulled the phone away from her ear but quickly put it back, before she backed out . "It needs to stop now...us."

"No, no it's not." Red sat up in his seat and gave Dembe a quick hand gesture. Dembe quickly left the room. "Lizzie, you need to trust me."

"I don't know," she started to sob and she hated herself for acting so weak. "What even were we? I mean were we even together? Because you have a funny way of showing it."

"I _love_ you Lizzie." Her tears fell harder when his voice came out desperately, something she had never heard before. "You know that i love you more than anything and everything. I need you to give me a chance to explain."

"I don't want to know." Lizzie replied. "I don't want this."

"Wa-"

She quickly hung up, her hand shaking desperately as she threw it on the ground. She crushed the heel of her boot down on it hard. And again. She didn't know what she was doing she just needed to get rid of the phone.

"Liz."

Her eyes widened when Resslers voice came from the other side of the door and she picked the phone up quickly, the screen shattered and the buttons pushed in, scraped and destroyed.

"I'm good," she called out unconvincingly.

Ressler pushed the door open, his eyes closed. He peeked one open to make sure no other women were in there. Then he stared at her and she saw sympathy. There in his eyes, she saw sympathy and she silently panicked.

There was a long silence.

"You need to throw it away."

She swallowed, her eyes watering over the edge as she stared at him helplessly.

"The phone Liz, you need to get rid of it."

"Ressler..."

"You need to get rid of it and you need to _forget_ him."

"I fell in love with him."


	8. Leaving You

Hello :) Thank you for the reviews again! :D:D !

This one goes back to when Red was there then left and the time he was away. Hopefully it's not too confusing.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist...The song is, Backwards Walk by Frightened Rabbit.

* * *

**I'm working on drawing a straight line  
And I'll draw until I get one right  
It's bold and dark, girl, can't you see  
I done drawn a line between you and me**

I'm working on erasing you  
Just don't have the proper tools  
I'll get hammered, forget that you exist  
There's no way I'm forgetting this

I'm working hard on walking out  
Shoes keep sticking to the ground  
My clothes won't let me close the door  
'Cause the trousers seem to love your floor

I been working on my backwards walk  
There's nowhere else for me to go  
Except back to you just one last time  
Say yes before I change my mind

Say yes before I...

**Thirteen weeks ago...**

"We're here," Dembe spoke, breaking the silence that Red had set during the journey to Albert's home.

Red turned to look out the window, tilting his amber tinted glasses down to the bridge of his nose. "You wait here, Dembe."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"It's the idea we're going with," Red responded and opened his door, grabbing his fedora hat from the back seat. "Albert is as harmless as an annoying fly and I would like to speak alone. We don't want to spook him and you can be quite intimidating, Dembe."

Dembe nodded, still not entirely comfortable with Reddington going in by himself. "How long will you be?"

"Give me half an hour," Red responded brightly, despite the situation he found himself in. "No longer."

Dembe kept his eyes firmly on Red as he went up to the front door of the lavish brick house. He knocked, waited and knocked again. Dembe reached for the car door handle but Red turned and held up his hand to stop him. He reached down, lifted up the door mat and took the single silver key, so dangerously hidden. Dembe watched him turn the key and disappear inside.

It was no less than five minutes when Red returned to the car, a black smart phone sitting in his hand.

"That was quick," Dembe said.

"Yes, well, I didn't expect him to be dead."

Dembe turned in his seat and gave him a questioning look. "Who killed him?"

"Castona. We need to leave, Dembe."

"Where to?"

"Lizzie's hotel."

Dembe started the car. "Castona is the one blackmailing you?"

"I received large sum of money from him a few years back," Red nodded, his eyes on the road. "I'm assuming he wants it back."

"So he got Albert to take the photo of you and Agent Keen?"

"Looks like it," Red replied, flipping through the threatening messages on Albert's phone.

"Does he pose a real threat to her?"

Red swallowed and took a few seconds to reply. He caught Dembe's eye in the rearview mirror. "If he can kill Albert, then yes. I believe he is."

He removed his hat and placed it on his lap. His thoughts should be on David and what steps he was going to take to find him and kill him. They should be on what he was going to tell Lizzie. What he was going to do to protect her. But they weren't. Instead, they were on cotton sheets.

"Dembe, stop off at that lovely little shop on the corner of Terrace street."

* * *

He hadn't called her for three weeks and he knew it wrong and entirely unfair on her. Dembe kept sending him subtle hints to check up on her but he couldn't do it. He could not bring himself to check in. She was okay, physically, he knew because Kaplan would let him know immediately if something was wrong. His thoughts were at a crossroads between finding Castona and how careless he had been in protecting Lizzie. He was followed and he did not notice. The thought they were being watched did not cross his mind at all. He was so caught up in making sure she enjoyed their night, loving her so strongly, admiring her in his jacket and helping ease her growing fears about getting caught. They were on the beach in public and they were being watched. _He didn't know_. It made him beyond angry at himself. She was his one weakness. He knew he had to protect her but he honestly didn't see himself failing this early on. Just over a week into their relationship he had slipped and now she was in danger, because of his life and his life choices.

"If you don't call her, I will."

Red looked across at Dembe, sitting opposite him in the plane they were on. He had lost count of how many hours they had spent on planes lately. He stretched his stiff legs out to prevent himself from getting blood clots.

"That phone has sat in your hand for over an hour."

"Love is a dangerous emotion, Dembe." Red answered cryptically, his mind still elsewhere. "Lets leave it at that shall we?"

Dembe nodded slowly. "I think she knows that you're a dangerous man to be around."

Red removed his uneven gaze from Dembe. "I'm not so sure she does," he said lightly, brushing off his friends obvious disappointment in him.

Dembe looked back down to the paper in his hand.

Moments later, Red, spoke into his phone. "Lizzie."

Dembe smirked.

* * *

**8 weeks away..**

He wasn't going to call her. To keep her safe he wasn't going to call her again. He had decided firmly after another restless night and a long day spent calling contacts and meeting various people. Finding Castona was taking too long and each minute that went by with no progress, put Lizzie in more danger. He hadn't heard from Castona and that made him nervous. He could be bluffing, sure. But then he also could be deadly serious. _Deadly_. It was ten at night when he pulled out the safe the hotel had given him after firm orders from him that he needed one. He put the phone inside, turned his head away from the safe and spun the dial various times.

He shut the safe quickly before he changed his mind and went to visit Dembe.

Dembe opened his hotel door, surprised to see Red at the other side.

"Dembe, I need you to look after this safe." He handed it over to Dembe, who raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What is in it?" Dembe asked when Red looked beyond relieved to get rid of it. Red tilted his head, his eyes looking anywhere other than towards the familiar sound of a mobile phone ringing. Dembe put his ear next to the safe. The phone was inside. He raised both eyebrows this time.

"Don't say anything, Dembe. I do not want to hear it."

Dembe watched him silently as the phone rang between them, torturing Red. When it stopped, Red nodded once and turned to leave back to his own room.

"Are we going to go back?" Dembe called but received no reply.

* * *

**Ten weeks away from DC...**

"She keeps calling," Dembe said quietly one day when they were walking the streets of a little town in France, to meet a reliable contact at a small café, not far from their hotel.

"Who?" Red responded, casually, deliberately acting oblivious.

"Coward."

Red stopped abruptly on the sidewalk and turned to his friend. "You do not know how much danger she is in, being with me." He said firmly, in a low voice. "This is right, Dembe, I don't need the relationship advise."

Dembe stared back, just as serious because he knew Red was struggling, stubborn and he needed a push. "Why don't you tell her that then?"

Red looked away from Dembe's hard gaze and continued to walk down the street.

"Because I will change my mind if I hear her voice." He replied. "And that can not happen."

* * *

**Thirteen weeks away..**

It had been a long, gruelling day of chasing leads and getting no where. Red was exhausted, a little drunk from scotch and unable to sleep. All he could think about, was her. All he could picture was her. Every second of thought was on her and he didn't know how to erase her from his mind. He just needed to hear her voice, just this once and it would be OK. He needed this for himself, just this once. It wouldn't make him change his mind.

"Dembe, I need the safe."

Dembe narrowed his eyes, "Raymond, are you drunk?"

"Dembe," Red repeated, ignoring his question. "Give me the phone."

"What is the code?" Dembe asked, retreating back in his room to retrieve the safe.

"I don't know," Red replied, his usual straight posture and steady stance slightly unbalanced. "We need to break it open."

Within five minutes Dembe was back from reception where he demanded the safe to be open. He passed the phone to Red but didn't let go of it immediately.

"She hasn't called in a week."

"Oh, lovely," Red replied, tugging the phone out from Dembe's grip. "Just what i needed to hear, my friend."

Dembe gave a small grin. "I'm just saying, Raymond. Maybe you shouldn't call unless you're sure you will be going back."

"If I do recall," Red replied, taking another sip of his scotch, the liquid giving him courage that he usually didn't need. But when it came to calling her, after thirteen weeks, he needed it all. All the courage he could get. "You were the one telling me to call her."

"It has been a week though. Maybe she's figured it out."

"Figured what out?"

"That you're not going back."

Red chewed the inside of his cheek. "Thank you for looking after it, Dembe."

He hadn't called her in ten weeks and he had been gone thirteen. He hadn't answered her calls. It was late at night and he was standing near the hotel window, staring out at the city lights. Dembe was right, she hadn't called in a week and if he was going to protect her, watch her from afar he shouldn't call her. He wasn't going to ring her. If it was daylight, if he wasn't dazed and slightly tipsy from alcohol he knew he wouldn't. But he pulled the phone out from his pocket and called. Because he needed to hear her.

He heard her breathing first, it was slow and warm and it made his eyes fall shut.

"Lizzie hel-" he faltered, suddenly unsure of what to say. "Lizzie."

When he heard her voice though, when she continued to yell at him and cry desperately into the phone, telling him they were over he placed the scotch glass on the table and sobered immediately. Something in him snapped. He couldn't leave her, it simply wasn't possible. He felt suddenly vulnerable. He needed her. He wanted to hold her and touch her and he wanted her to hold him.

"I _love _you, Lizzie." He tried desperately to get her to stop and listen. "I love you more than anything and everything. I need you to give me a chance to explain."

"I don't want to know." Lizzie replied. "I don't want this."

"Wait, Lizzie." He quickly replied. "I'll come back right now-I will go and get on a plane right now." He responded again just as quickly but he was left with the dial tone and he wasn't sure if she had heard him or not. He rang back again, no answer. Again, no answer. Again and again and again until it finally told him the number he was calling had been disconnected.

He rang Kaplan.

"Raymond? Why so late dear?"

"Where's Lizzie?"

"Why? We have people watching her, I've had no alerts-"

"Where is she?"

Kaplan sighed. "Let me make a call."

"Call me back when you know."

Red paced his hotel room, feeling sick, a little heart-broken and conflicted. The things she does to him, he thought. If anyone could see him now, he thought. Kaplan called back immediately, which was good because he couldn't handle the emotions he felt bubbling over the surface. He needed something to grasp.

"She has just arrived back to her hotel." Kaplan told him. "She is visibly upset."

"Thank you," Red hung up and made his way to his front door but it opened quickly, Dembe standing on the otherside.

"Dembe, good, pack your bags we must go back now can-."

"We know where he is," Dembe interrupted. "Exact location, we have him, Raymond."

Red closed his eyes briefly, letting himself process everything. "How long?"

"Two weeks tops," Dembe replied. "Should we get him?"

Red took awhile to give any sort of answer, but he finally nodded. "We should."

* * *

**Present Day...**

"So, there we were, nibbling on the most exquisite croissants I have ever had the pleasure to eat," Red spoke vibrantly. "The buttery, flakey viennoiserie is so rich and sweet, I ordered some from them to send over."

"Wow it sounds amazing," Danielle nodded eagerly, her excitement of getting to work with Raymond Reddington absolutely terrifying but exciting all at the same time. He was quite the spirited character and his stories were all very animated.

"Director Cooper just called and said Ressler and him will be here in half an hour." Aram told them. "He wants-he wants me to put you in handcuffs.."

"Oh, Harold love these games," Red smiled. "But I will not allow you to do that."

"Um," Aram hesitated nervously not sure where to go from there. "Liz is here," he sighed in relief as he watched her park her car in the security cameras he just installed. She could put Reddington in cuffs.

Red watched the screen intently as Lizzie exited her car and walked towards the elevator.

"Do you have any new targets for us?" Danielle asked him.

"Yes," Red removed his eyes from the screen. "But I will still only be speaking with Agent Keen-and here she is," He took his fedora off and watched her walk towards them, her focus down on the papers in her hand as she moved forward.

"Lizzie, it's so wonderful to see you. You are looking well."

Lizzie stopped walking.

_No_.

She didn't want it to be him. It wasn't him. It couldn't be him.

She looked up slowly from the papers in her hand, her gaze landing directly on him. She blinked once, hoping, wishing, it wasn't actually him. Everything rushed back. The hurt, the tears, everything. She felt herself struggling to breathe under his gaze.

Red swallowed nervously, but quickly cleared his throat, not wanting to bring attention to the undeniable tension that just made it's way into the room.

"Is that a new coat? You look lovely, sit down let me-" He stopped mid sentence when she turned around and walked straight back into the elevator. The doors closed quickly and the silence left was deafening.

Danielle turned to Aram and Red. "I'm not sure what that was about?"

Aram looked up at Red. "Neither do I...but I still need to put you in handcuffs..."

* * *

Lizzie walked down the busy street, fast. Anything to get herself away from him. Distance herself from him. She wasn't going to go back to work. She knew Danielle and Aram would say something to Cooper but she didn't particularly care right now. She could make up something, though she knew Ressler would pick up on it. Now that he knew, god. She still couldn't believe he knew.

She didn't bother collecting her car, she just needed fresh air and hopefully she was harder to follow on foot.

"Agent Keen..."

She stopped on the sidewalk, rolling her eyes. Could she never get privacy? She turned to see his car next to her, Dembe leaning over to speak through the passengers window. "Mr Reddington would like to speak with you."

"Oh he would?" Lizzie replied sarcastically. "Well that's great for him. But you tell him, Dembe, that i don't want to talk to him." She knew she shouldn't be acting like this towards Dembe but they couldn't just show up after fifteen weeks and expect her to talk. They were over. She had told him they were over.

The back passengers window slid down and Red stuck his head out the window. "Please hop in or I will get out and walk with you."

"No!" She said, trying to keep her voice from betraying the pain she still felt. "You can't do this." She kept walking and the car moved along with her, Dembe parked again, just ahead of her.

She turned in the other direction but Red hopped out of the car and followed her. "I shouldn't have shown up without telling you." He said, walking fast to keep up with her. "Lizzie, stop." He grabbed her hand. "Just one drive. We will drop you home."

* * *

"This is a very long way to my house, Dembe." Lizzie said from the backseat of the car, sitting as far away from Red as possible. His cologne was overwhelming and far too intoxicating to breathe in at this moment. She let the window down.

"Sorry, I just enjoy the scenery this way."

"Of buildings?"

Red chuckled and turned to look at her. "I missed you."

Lizzie caught his eye but quickly glanced away. "Really? It didn't seem like it."

"Oh," Dembe grinned from the front seat. "He even had to lock his phone-"

"Dembe," Red interrupted quickly, a little too loudly and Lizzie wondered at the tone, if he was embarrassed about something. She looked away because she didn't care.

"Would you mind stopping here and grabbing some groceries from the store?" Red asked but practically demanded. A 'No' from Dembe wasn't going to work as an answer.

Dembe pulled over. "What did you want?"

"Coffee."

"Coffee?"

"Please," Red nodded and turned his attention back to Lizzie.

"I need to get something from the store too," Lizzie quickly said, not wanting to be alone in the car with him. "I'll come."

"No, wait," Red tried to stop her. "Dembe can get it for you."

"No it's fine." Lizzie quickly shut the door behind her and followed along with Dembe.

She lost Dembe in the store and she didn't have a clue what she even needed to buy. She wandered around aimlessly, trying to get control over her emotions before returning back to the car. She left in defeat, not being able to find Dembe and having purchased nothing. She just hoped that Dembe was back in the car. She hesitated when she got back but decided against sitting next to him. She opened the front passengers door and sat herself in the seat. Red was still in the back, his smile small and knowing when she decided to sit in the front.

"What did you buy?" He asked.

"Where's Dembe?"

"Not back yet," Red replied. "Lizzie, can we talk?"

Lizzie looked out her side window, hoping to catch sight of Dembe. "No"

"Castona had blackmailed Albert to follow us to the beach and take our photo, you know, when you wrapped your arms around me and told me you liked my bow tie?" He smiled at the memory. "I couldn't let him hurt you Lizzie. I had to go."

Lizzie swallowed, shifted in her seat but refused to look at him.

"And while I was there I started blaming myself, because, it is mine and only my fault that you were put in danger. I don't want you put in danger Lizzie, you must understand that. So i didn't call. I didn't answer your calls and I tried, " His forehead creasing. "I very much tried to draw a line between us."

Dembe made his way back to the car and Lizzie couldn't even see him properly, her eyes blurry with tears. She hated being like this but after fifteen weeks of nothing and finally getting something, she struggled. She struggled because he hurt her and they couldn't get back together. Not even if she wanted to. Which she didn't. She didn't. She was not prepared for a life with him. Not emotionally strong enough.

"But i couldn't do it, Lizzie." Red continued when Dembe sat in his seat, quietly reaching behind to put the bag next to Red on the back seat. "Hearing your voice, and the pain you were in was much, much harder and more painful than anything I have ever experienced."

Lizzie wiped her eyes quickly when Dembe started the car.

"I was going to come back right then and there but Dembe had found Castona, and I was given a choice. To go and protect you or come and gather you in my arms and tell you I will never leave you again, but I chose the former and I would make that same decision all over again."

"Okay."

"Lizzie, i love you." Red leaned forward in his seat, Dembe sat awkwardly trying not to smile as he drove.

"You didn't even ask me if I wanted to come."

"I," Red tilted his head. "You would have come?"

"Yes."

"I didn't think of that."

"It doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry."

Lizzie nodded, finally not being able to keep her tears at bay. She let a couple fall down her cheeks. "We can't get back together."

"We can."

"No," Lizzie shook her head, turning back to look at him. "We can't."

Red swallowed. "I will bring you with me if there is ever a next time. I will tell you, Lizzie, i won't leave without you."

"I told Ressler."

Red narrowed his eyebrows softly, reaching out to wipe the tears from her cheeks but she pulled back.

"What did you tell him?"

She could see Dembe turn to look at her, the car now parked outside her hotel.

"Lizzie," Red prodded gently.

She glanced at Dembe, then back to Red.

"I told him that I had fallen in love with you."


	9. I Can't Sleep

Yay! i hit the 100 reviews i was so stoked :D Thank you so much for the reviews again! I love reading them! Thank you!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Blacklist and the song, John Newman, Losing Sleep. I think i replayed this song like a million times as i wrote this haha!

* * *

**It's 3 AM, I'm calling in to tell you that without you here**  
**I'm losing sleep**  
**I'm losing sleep**  
**There's a sound around this lonely house that's leaving me filled with fear**  
**I'm losing sleep**  
**I'm losing sleep**

Lizzie looked down at her watch, a smile formed on her lips when she read the time. She was early. She was actually early to work and she hoped Cooper was there to be impressed. She had a mask on today. Not a real mask obviously, but an invisible one. Everything was blocked out and she was going to focus on work and only her work. After telling Red yesterday that she had told Ressler her feelings, he wanted to talk more. But she didn't. She didn't go into detail, leaving the car with a brief thanks to Dembe, for dropping her off. She couldn't deal with him anymore. She would work with him. She wouldn't be with him. She couldn't be with him. Ressler wasn't going to tell Cooper, but his reaction was far from impressed and he clearly thought she was crazy. Beyond crazy and maybe he was right. She was crazy. Who falls for the Concierge of crime? It was ridiculous and bound to end in tears, which it did. He surprised her though, Ressler that is, when he gave her a hug and told her everything would be alright. It was probably because she was an absolute mess and he felt he had to, but it was a nice gesture.

It didn't change anything though, she wishes she didn't tell him. That he didn't hear her crying and yelling through her phone, that she didn't say those words. She had finally gained his trust as a partner and now that was jeopardized.

* * *

Red stared at Ressler, a look of boredom sketched on his face. He had arrived early because he had important information about the next criminal on his list. Instead of being greeted by Lizzie, Donald had been the only one there. As soon as Dembe left to fill the car with gas, Ressler pounced.

Ressler glared at him and moved a step closer to him when Red stood to leave. "You stay the hell away from her."

"I work with Agent Keen, Donald. That's impossible."

"Manipulating her to fall in love with you? Who the hell do you think you are? She's works for the FBI for christ sake."

Red hardened his gaze. "I did not manipulate, Lizzie."

"I don't see how else you could have gotten her into bed. A little fun for you huh. Was that what it was? Your sick obsession with her?"

"I suggest you stop with the false accusations."

"I suggest you leave," Ressler countered back.

"I appreciate the advice," Red nodded, not affected by Resslers warnings in the slightest. "But I don't really believe you have a clue what is going on. Lizzie-"

Ressler shoved him in the shoulder. "If you don't leave her alone-"

"Don't order me Donald. I don't appreciate being ordered."

Ressler pushed him harder this time and Red stumbled back. He didn't retaliate but found his footing. Ressler continued to glare. "Leave her alone or I won't hesitate to tell Cooper."

"If you tell Cooper, Donald, you should disappear and quickly." Red said slowly. He wasn't going to take this, not from Donald Ressler.

Ressler grabbed him roughly by the collar of his white shirt and pulled him close, his face inches away. "I don't think you're in the position for threats-"

"Ressler!" Lizzie gasped, her eyes wide and round, shocked at the scene playing in front of her. "Let him go! What are you doing!?"

Ressler turned to Lizzie, letting his grip on Reddington loosen. "You're here." He said, ignoring her question. "We have a meeting with Cooper in his office."

"Okay." Lizzie nodded, her eyes glancing to Red then back to Ressler. "Should we go?"

"He didn't ask for you," Ressler said to Red before shoving past him. Lizzie watched him leave, her early morning ruined by reality.

"Good morning, Lizzie." Red seemed totally unphased by the confrontation.

Her eyes roamed him naturally, just to make sure he wasn't hurt. She would do it to anyone, she told herself, not just him. Her eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"You're bleeding." She said, taking a protective step towards him but not to close. Just close enough to see the small patch of red blood expanding on his shirt.

"Hmm? Oh, would you look at that!" Red twisted his head to get a good look at his shoulder. He lifted up the collar of his shirt and peered down at the skin on his upper arm.

"Why are you bleeding?"

"Agent Keen," Cooper stepped out from his office and beckoned for her to come. "We have a meeting."

"Yes, sir." Lizzie nodded to him. She turned back around to Red. "Are you okay?"

"Absolutely fine," he walked past her, the blood starting to trail down the sleeve of his shirt. "I'll have Dembe bring in the information on Mr Franco."

Lizzie stared after him.

This wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

She arrived home early. Cooper had been in a surprisingly good mood and though he didn't say so she had a feeling it was because Red was back and they were well underway with the list again. If he knew what was really going on his mood would be on the other end of the scale. She walked past reception and smiled routinely at the receptionist. She still wasn't use to living in a hotel and the house hunting came to a stand still when Red arrived back. Not that she had gotten very far with it.

"Oh! Elizabeth," The woman stopped her. "These were for you. They just arrived, I was going to run them up to your room, but now you're here."

Lizzie widened her eyes, bewildered. The large bouquet of white gardenia's hiding the receptionist face. "For me? Are you sure?"

The receptionist nodded with a wide grin. "The man told me to tell you...hold on, wait," The woman held up a finger. "I had it all in mind just a second ago."

"It's okay you don't have to remember," Lizzie smiled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it was something _very_ romantic and charming though," she winked and Lizzie couldn't imagine it being anyone else other than Red.

"Did you see this person?" She asked.

"Oh no, he called." The woman nodded. "A lovely voice. Rich, soothing." Definitely Red. The woman was practically swooning.

"Right," Lizzie grabbed the flowers. "Thank you, Anne."

Up in her room she found a vase for the flowers and worked on arranging them for a few minutes. Sure, they were probably from Red and she didn't want them but she had them. And they were beautiful, so she couldn't let them go to waste. But she had to put a stop to it, quickly. Her phone rung just as she had found a suitable place for the flowers to sit. She prepared herself for the conversation she was about to have. It wasn't going to be pleasant but it needed to be done and after receiving the flowers, it needed to be done fast.

"Hello?"

"Lizzie, how are you?"

She sighed. "Red..I don't," she struggled with words. "Is this work related?"

"Not exactly, did you get the flowers?"

"Yes."

"Do you like them? Gardenia's are said to signify-"

"Yes, thank you, but I don't- God, Red." She quickly intervened. "Don't call me, please, unless it's about work."

"But can I send you more flowers?" His tone was hopeful and she knew she wasn't going to get through to him by being subtle.

"No."

"Chocolate perhaps?"

"Red, we are over. I don't know how to make myself any more clear."

"You're making yourself clear, Lizzie, but we aren't over. Far from it in fact."

Lizzie sighed again. "I don't love you."

There, she said it. It didn't feel quite as therapeutic as she had hoped.

He hummed and she rolled her eyes because she knew he didn't believe her.

"I don't entirely believe that."

"I don't love you." She repeated more firmly. "And honestly, I don't think I ever did."

He remained silent on the other end and it made her nervous when she thought that maybe, he was finally hearing her, finally listening.

"So, you're telling me, Lizzie, that all of what happened between was?"

"It was nothing."

"I see."

"I was wrong." Lizzie nodded because once she started, she couldn't stop. "I thought I did, I thought that's what it was but you went away for over three months, Red. I had time to think during that time and these past couple of days and you were just someone there, looking out for me." She told him, told herself. "I guess I was lonely and I don't know..after everything in my life you were just always there for me, always." She lent her head back on the sofa. "I guess I kind of liked that."

"You're leaving me a tad speechless, Lizzie."

"I didn't know how else to tell you." She stared at the Gardenia's on her coffee table and she knew she was going to have to get rid of them. "I have to go."

"Wait, Lizzie," he responded, his tone a lot less upbeat. "Just answer me this one thing before you go," he continued. "Are you saying this because it's what you feel you should say? What Agent Ressler wants you to say? Or is this really what you feel? Right now, I need the truth, Lizzie."

"It's real."

"That was a fast reply."

"Because I'm sure."

She wondered what he was doing when he took so long to reply. Was he chewing the inside of his cheek, like he did when he pondered? Was he grinding his jaw? Was this hurting him as much as it was her?

"Very well then."

"I'm sorry but I do have to go," she needed to hang up quickly.

"I guess you know what it feels like to love someone who never loved you back?" He spoke almost distantly. "It's terrible, isn't it?"

"I'm not like Tom, don't tell me I'm like Tom."

"I would never say that," Red replied. "I just thought you would know it's not particularly nice pretending to love someone. Since you've been in the same position as I am in now."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

* * *

She hadn't seen him in three days but apparently, according to Cooper he had other matters to attend to. Lizzie didn't know what he meant by that, but it must have been serious with Cooper allowing him the time off. The three days at been going slowly, time was ticking slowly and she just needed it to go back to normal time because she didn't know how much longer she could last like this. She felt frozen in a time zone where all her thoughts was on him. Replaying the phone conversation in her head until she started to feel sick with guilt. She should have done it with more care. She had thought about calling him a couple of times but it would be no use. When he was ready to come back, ready to work with her she would. Until then, she would keep working, keep feeling guilty and keep building a solid brick wall around her heart so it wouldn't be able to act out on its own again. She needed to keep using her brain now or things would continue to be dangerous.

* * *

"Red? It's," Lizzie yawned, rubbed her sleepy eyes and glanced at the bright red numbers on her alarm clock. "It's three am."

"I'm finding it difficult to sleep."

"So you wake me up?"

"I apologise, but yes."

"Where have you been these last few days?" She yawned again and sat up in bed.

"Out and about."

"Again with the secrecy."

"I've been at home trying to sleep."

Lizzie felt a pang of concern but she swallowed it down quickly. "Maybe you should see a doctor?"

She could hear him swallow and she guessed he was drinking scotch. "I can't sleep, Lizzie, because you said you didn't love me and I'm sorry but that's a very difficult thought to process."

"I don't know what you want me to say," She answered, closing her eyes to calm her racing heart. Three in the morning wasn't a good time for her to talk about feelings. Not when she was tired and her mind wasn't working properly. "And you aren't sleeping? Well I guess you know how I felt for fifteen weeks straight."

"Tell me what to do."

"Come back to work," she suggested. "I don't know, Red."

"That's not going to work," He replied. "I don't think you realise how deeply my feelings run for you, Lizzie."

"Red.." She moved back under her covers, her hand covering her eyes.

"Lizzie."

"Don't do this, please I'm trying to move on. We need to."

"You know, Lizzie, that I'm not one to be desperate. Nor am I ever this involved and emotionally attached with someone. But I can't sleep without you. I simply cannot have you then lose you."

* * *

She needed a friend. Someone to talk to when things were messy, someone to give her advice, tell her to follow her heart or stick with her brain. She had no friends. Aram, Ressler and Danielle didn't count. She couldn't tell them. She did have friends when Tom was around, they were mostly his but she had a few. However, after everything that happened she hadn't been in contact with them for over a year. Not that she would be able to tell them her problems anyway. 'Oh yes, you know just madly in love with number four on the most wanted list. No biggie.'

She started to hate work as well. She dreaded it. She dreaded walking through the doors knowing Red wasn't showing up again. She dreaded greeting Ressler who scrutinised her every movement. Dreaded seeing Cooper who was the only one in contact with Red, which she still found strange he hadn't questioned her about. The only people she could work with was Danielle and Aram but they were so happy all the time it got on her nerves. Which was a little mean but she needed some of that and the only way to feel happy, she couldn't do.

"Reddington's body-guard, Dembe, called." Cooper told the team as he walked out from his office. "They are not coming in today."

"Why this time?" Lizzie asked.

"Reddington's stitches split open a few days ago and they weren't treated fast enough. He has an infection."

_He? He what?_ Lizzie looked around at the faces of the others. Were they not as worried as she was? An infection? stitches?

"Oh yes, I saw him walk out last week and there was blood everywhere." Danielle commented. "I tried to help him but he said it was nothing major."

* * *

"Dembe," Lizzie spoke into the phone. "Is he okay?"

"Yes, he is fine, Agent Keen. Nothing to worry about."

"Can I speak to him?"

"Uh, he is sleeping."

"Since when does he sleep at ten in the morning?"

"He's giving you space, Agent Keen. I think you should take it."

"God, Dembe. Get him on the phone, please."

Dembe relented. "Just a minute."

Lizzie sat in her office chair, glad Ressler had gone on an early break because the last thing she needed was him watching this.

"Lizzie, hello, how are you?" He sounded okay, he sounded normal.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm doing great and how about you?" Maybe a little too normal.

"You have an infection," she stated. "From what?"

"Oh, no nothing. I took a slight graze to the shoulder last week. The doctor went a bit easy on the stitches," he laughed lightly and she sat there wondering what on earth her life had come to. She was worried, she was hurt, she was sad, she was in love and she sat here at work on the phone to him. Again.

"Did you get shot?" She suddenly asked.

"Yes, it was such a terrible aim though, Lizzie, you would've been horrified."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked. "You should have told me."

"I didn't quite find the time," he answered.

"Do you need anything? Like, antibiotics or, I don't know?" She asked. "I can get you something."

"No, nothing is needed." Red replied.

"Are you upset with me?"

His breathing deepened. "I could never be upset with you, Lizzie."

"Will you come back to work when you're better?"

"I will."

* * *

"You alright Keen?"

Lizzie looked up from her desk, Ressler was standing there holding out a coffee for her. She took it gratefully, coffee sounded good. Very good. The aroma wasn't bad either.

"What do you think of this place?" She lifted up the real estate magazine.

"Looks good, private. You thinking of buying it?"

"I'll have a look," she replied, staring down at the small bungalow house. "It has a nice garden."

"Didn't know you were into gardening."

She grinned, "I'm not."

Ressler nodded. "What are you going to do?"

"Hire a gardener...or maybe start-up a new hobby?"

"I mean about Reddington."

"Oh."

"You know he's not going to leave you alone."

Lizzie shook her head to stop him. "He knows."

"You told him you didn't love him?"

"Yes."

"How did he take it?"

"Fine," she nodded. "Fine, actually."

"Well, let's hope he does the right thing."

"Yeah."

* * *

She had been tossing and turning all night. It was three in the morning when she glanced at her clock, sick of forcing sleep when it clearly wasn't going to come. He would be awake. Would he?

She jumped out of bed, finally unable to take it any longer. She called him. He didn't answer but it didn't bother her because a phone call wasn't going to work.

She pulled on her black yoga pants, a baggy shirt and an even bigger jumper. Not the most lovely, classy looks but she didn't care. She had only one thing on her mind and clothes and dress sense were not it.

She replayed her next movements in her head as she drove to his house. Go in, knock on his door and talk to him. They were going to have a long conversation. She was going to force them to have a long conversation.

"Knock on the door and talk." She said as she parked her car just outside his house. "Knock and talk, Lizzie."

She had black UGG boots on and she cringed at her outfit now. Maybe she should have dressed nicer, knowing him he would be in suit. It's three am, she reminded herself. He would be asleep, maybe. Depends if he was finally being able to succumb to it or not.

"Knock and talk," she muttered as her hand hovered by his door. The lights were on and she pulled it away. Her fists scrunched together in fear. She lifted her hand up again, formed a fist again, and knocked quickly before she could change her mind. She laughed silently, nervously, when she thought of running, just like a young kid would do who was playing a prank. She wondered if he would find it funny. Probably not. Especially when he saw her car and she was hiding in the bushes somewhere...she quickly shook her head to rid of the bizarre thoughts that entered her mind.

She rubbed her scar.

_Just talk, Lizzie._

That's all they needed. To talk about everything that had happened between them over the past four? Five months?

She could hear the patter of footsteps coming towards the door and she remained calm...ish.

_Just going to talk._

The door opened and he stood there and her mind said talk, it did. It said 'you are going to talk' but her mouth wouldn't move and she couldn't form the words.

"Lizzie."

She crashed into him roughly, her lips crashing into his and her hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him as close as she possibly could. She whimpered as he kissed her back, as she pushed him back into his house. Her tongue demanded quick entrance into his mouth and she brushed it over his teeth, his gums everywhere. God she missed this. He gripped her tightly, afraid she was going to trip them over but becoming totally, incoherently lost in whatever she was doing right now.

"Good Lord!"

A woman's voice broke through the silence.

Lizzie pulled away, her hands still gripping his shirt as she moved her head to look over his shoulder. Her eyes widened, her jaw dropped and she quickly moved back to hide herself behind him.

She swallowed drastically, her eyes blinking quickly as she stared up at him.

She patted his shirt, not really knowing what she was doing? Fixing the wrinkles? "I, I didn't know you had company.." She stopped touching him and stepped back. "I need to..." She quickly stepped back and gestured outside. She needed to leave before she died of embarrassment. She quickly turned from him, dashed outside and slammed the door shut immediately.

'shiiiiiit!' she mouthed, running her hand down her face in embarrassment, shock. She leant against his house, just to the side of his door and exhaled slowly.

_What the hell happened to knock and talk!?_

* * *

Back inside Red turned around to Dembe who was grinning at him like the cat that ate the canary. Then there was Kaplan who sat there, her legs crossed, her arms folded and a very, very pointed look on her face.

"Don't tell me you've fallen for the girl, Raymond?"

Red narrowed his eyes in a rather calm, thoughtful manner. His head tilted to side. "And if I have?"

She shook her head, the faintest of smiles forming on her lips. "Well I never."

He nodded once and looked towards Dembe. "Dembe, is there something you find amusing?"

Dembe shook his head. "Other than the past two minutes?"

"This new, sarcastic attitude of yours is becoming quite common."

"I'm just getting more comfortable with you, boss." Dembe grinned again and put his card down. "Full house."

"Drat," Kaplan threw her cards down. "That's your third win in a row." She looked up to Red, her eyebrow raised. "You better bring her in from outside. It's cold. I'll put the kettle on."

"Something tells me she doesn't need heating up-" Dembe laughed along with Kaplan but quickly shuffled his winnings into his shirt before looking to Red. "I'll help with the tea."

"Yes Dembe," Red nodded his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "I think that would be a wise idea."

"You be nice to her, Raymond." Kaplan looked at him sternly as she walked past.

* * *

Red closed the door behind him as he stepped outside in the cool night air. He moved in front of her as she stood there, leaning her back against his house.

"Please, Lizzie." He swallowed and stood as close to her as he could without touching.

She nodded faintly, her lips parting, forming her words. "It's hard pretending," she whispered.

He leaned in closer to her, and brushed his nose lightly across the ridge of hers. "I'm _so_ sorry, Lizzie."

His forehead rested gently against hers and she breathed him in. His cologne, his aftershave, his scent. She missed it.

"I know."

"I don't want to hurt you."

She nodded, her head bumping with his. "You can't leave me."

"I won't." He reached out one of his hands and gently rested it on her hip.

"I would go with you," she said.

She felt his breath travel over her skin as his lips came in line with hers. They didn't touch, but when he spoke again, they brushed hers lightly.

"OK," he replied. "OK, Lizzie. I won't go anywhere without you."

"Red." Her eyes went a little cross-eyed as she looked down at his lips and her hands crawled up his stomach and rested on his chest.

"I love you," he used his other hand to cup her cheek. "Lizzie, I love you."

She smiled as her eyes glanced down to her hands which still rested on his chest. "I think I love you more."

She could feel the low rumble vibrating from his chest as he chuckled. "That's not possible."

"Yeah it is."


	10. Kiss me

Hello :) Thank you for the reviews again! :)

Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist. Don't own the song, Kiss me, Sixpence None the Richer

* * *

**Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight**  
**Lead me out on the moonlit floor**  
**Lift your open hand**  
**Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance**  
**Silver moon's sparkling**  
**So kiss me**

He had big hands. Which was a weird thought to have right at this time, but he did. One placed on her left cheek and the other on her right, holding her face steady as his lips attacked hers gently, his tongue moving slowly with hers. There was no teasing, it wasn't heated and it wasn't desperate, it was the most careful, thoughtful kiss she had ever experienced. He seemed nervous which wasn't usually a word she'd use to describe him or his actions. He seemed almost worried she was going to disappear on him. She suddenly felt emotional, letting her kiss express everything she couldn't put into words.

He had warm hands. Previously to the kiss her cheeks were cold and tending on the pale side from the bitter wind. But his hands were radiating warmth, her cheeks colouring as soon as they made contact. She also noticed that he was completely immersed in kissing her. She could hear his steady breathing low and shallow and his eyes remained closed. She opened hers briefly, smiled into the kiss, then let them shut again.

He had such soft hands. They were strong, large and filled with experience. Those hands had done things she would despise if he was anybody else. Illegal, criminal things. But they were _so_ warm and protective and she could hold his hand forever. She could let him touch her with those hands forever. She wrapped her own smaller hands around his wrists and only then did he pull back. His eyes opened slowly and his pupils were, dilated and his gaze unsteady. His eyelids drooped lazily and he didn't smile. Because he didn't have time.

And he didn't waste the time he did have, leaning his head back towards her and finding her lips again. His hands shifted slightly but they remained on her cheeks, his thumb brushing soft strokes on her skin. Was he being needy? She wondered. She nipped his bottom lip gently which only encouraged him more and she felt herself collapse back against the wall. If this was needy, then he could be needy any time he liked. Her hand slipped down his chest, and at the sudden movement he pulled away again.

She licked her lips and her own eyes looking just as glassy, stared up at him. His cheeks flushed and he placed a palm against the wall to brace himself. She searched his eyes, wondering if she really did have such an effect on him.

Her hand moved on his chest and her eyes followed it. "Your heart is racing."

He stared down at her and he didn't chuckle or huff like he usually did at her innocent teasing. She looked back up at him and raised a questionable eyebrow.

"I suppose that's what happens when you kiss Elizabeth Keen."

"So it's Elizabeth now?"

"Not always." He moved closer to her, his lips coming into faint contact with her ear. "Do you want to come in?"

She thought of Kaplan and Dembe sitting in his house waiting for them, or him and not her. "I should go."

He brushed his lips back along her cheekbone. "You're not going."

"I'm not going," She found herself whispering.

"I'm glad you agree."

She turned towards him and kissed him quickly on the side of the mouth. "Is it bad that Kaplan saw?"

"No." His head dropped on her shoulder and he placed a delicate kiss on the skin there. She closed her eyes at his need for closeness and contact. His arms circled her waist and she re-opened her eyes when his answer registered with her.

"No?" She tilted her head to side, trying to tuck it under his head which rested on her shoulder still. "Are you okay?"

He released her again and reluctantly lifted his head off of her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he smiled at her and reached for her hand. "You must be cold. Lets get you inside."

"No," She stopped him. "I asked if you were okay."

"Lizzie, I think it's obvious I am OK. I think it's more than obvious."

"You're acting... different.." She commented suspiciously.

"I'm acting in love," he corrected. "We haven't been close in over four months..and," His eyebrows narrowed and his lips twisted to the side, like they often did when he took his time to answer. "Did I tell you that I missed you?"

She nodded.

"I missed you, Lizzie."

"I missed you." Lizzie replied quietly, riddled with emotion again.

* * *

She did her best to stay calm when she followed Red into his house and through to the kitchen. She clasped his hand tightly, seeking support. Dembe was scooping ice cream out of a carton though and only looked up once, a slight smile playing on his lips but thankfully saying nothing. Kaplan however, first stared at Lizzie, then to Red, and then down to their joint hands. Lizzie felt like she was meeting the family. Maybe she was? They were the closest she knew of any family Red had close by him at this point in his life.

"Sugar?"

Lizzie's eyes snapped up from the interesting spot of nothing on the floor. Kaplan was staring at her with judgemental eyes and Lizzie found it hard to meet her gaze. "Uh, no. No thank you."

Red must have sensed her uneasiness because his thumb started to brush lightly over the back of her palm. "We brought back cartons of this ice cream from Italy." Red told her as he pulled her out a chair. "Dembe has gone through almost every one."

"It's good," Dembe nodded, tilting the carton towards her. "Would you like to try?"

"I'm okay. Thanks." Lizzie smiled, taking a seat in the chair and praying that Red wasn't going to excuse himself to go to the bathroom or something. Not when she had Kaplan staring at her.

The tea-cup slid towards her and Lizzie glanced up. "Thank you." She nodded to Kaplan. "...And sorry for interfering with your game before."

Kaplan's lips twitched into a small but warm smile and Lizzie almost sighed out loud in relief.

"No worries, dear. Dembe would be the only one bothered. He was winning for once."

Dembe nodded. "I had an advantage."

"You did?" Red turned to him. "And what was that?"

Dembe glanced at Lizzie then scooped more ice cream into his mouth. "You weren't focussed."

Red raised a disbelieving eyebrow then turned to Lizzie. "That's absurd. I was playing a little easier for him."

"Dembe's right." Kaplan agreed. "You weren't paying attention, you were all over the place. You filled your glass of scotch a handful of times and sat their mulling. You were like a school boy in love."

Lizzie choked on a mouthful of tea and Red quickly placed his hand on her back

"Lizzie?"

"Sorry, it's-it's hot." Lizzie nodded, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. "I'm good."

"As I was saying-" Kaplan begun again.

"We don't need to go into details," Red stopped her abruptly. "It is getting late. I'm sure Dembe wouldn't mind dropping you home?" He turned to Dembe who nodded.

"I haven't finished my tea, Raymond."

"We have these magnificent little mugs," Red stood from his seat and rounded the kitchen bench. "They're called travel mugs." He opened a few draws in search for them. "It keeps the liquid warm perfectly. Very practical for a trip."

"I prefer to drink my tea from a teacup." Kaplan replied.

Red stopped searching for the mugs and gave Kaplan a tight-lipped smile. He knew and she knew full well that she was loving this.

"Take your time." He responded and looked to Lizzie, who sat there giving him an amused but slightly confused smile. She gave him a tiny head shake. To say that it was OK. That this was OK. And he didn't need to kick them out of his house. Even if it was in the early hours of the morning.

Were they all nocturnal? Or were they here keeping him company while she wasn't?

* * *

It was four thirty in the morning when Kaplan and Dembe left. The time when Kaplan finally had enough of her somewhat, motherly teasing and Dembe was almost falling asleep in his ice cream. Lizzie lay stretched out on his sofa, the fire roasting wood beside her. The warmth from the flames reaching out and covering her like a blanket.

Red was topping up the said fire with more wood and she observed him with great interest. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he spent a lot of time moving the wood around with the metal poker.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked when the silence stretched out to minutes.

He put up the barrier then turned to looked over his shoulder. "You, me and surprisingly, Agent Ressler."

She nodded. "I'm so sorry I told him."

"You don't need to apologise, Lizzie. It was entirely my fault."

She wondered if she should sit up so they could have a proper conversation but she was so exhausted and the heat made her sleepy, making it impossible to find the strength. "What am I going to do?"

"We don't have to decide yet."

"I don't know if I can pretend anymore."

"It's OK, sweetheart. You don't need to worry." He placed the poker in the basket and stood up. He walked over to her and reached his hand down to brush her shoulder.

"We should sleep here."

"On the sofa?" He questioned, letting her pull him down on to his knees.

"By the fire." She nodded. "It's warm."

"Bed can be just as warm."

She pouted. "It's not the same. See," she pulled him on the couch with her. "Tell me this is the same warmth."

"Hmm," he murmured, rolling towards her. "You're right." He covered her upper body with his and kissed her tenderly. She held him closer by pulling on his shirt while her knee pushed between his legs out of their old habits.

"Lizzie," He peppered light kisses along her jaw, and down the stretch of her neck. "I've missed-" She moaned when his lower half shifted on her, breaking his sentence. "You."

"You like saying that," She breathed out. Her body was reacting and responding quickly to his and she arched her hips into him. "I really love you."

He was initially planning on taking it slowly but he groaned, fully clothed as he felt trapped and heated from both the fire beside him, but mostly from her underneath him telling him she loved him. His senses started to run wild and his kisses turned desperate. "Baby.." He kissed her roughly again on the lips.

She blushed and her eyes shot open. She pushed at his chest. "What was that?"

He calmed himself but he looked surprised. "I have no idea." He replied. "Shall I not say that one again? I won't. It's a tad inelegant."

She smiled. "You can say it again."

He gave her a side nod. "I'll keep that in mind, Lizzie."

Her hand reached up to touch his face, her fingertips lightly tracing under his eyes. "You're tired."

"Sleep is the absolute last thing on my mind."

Suddenly, her face took a turn and her eyes widened. She looked concerned and the thought of a fire in the house crossed his mind. He did put the barrier up didn't he?

"You got shot." She leaned up and he lent back with her. "Oh my god. Red, you got shot."

He sighed as her hands hovered over his shirt, afraid she was going to hurt him.

"That is the second to last thing on my mind, Lizzie. Would you like to know what the first thing on my mind is?"

She smiled weakly, her eyes continuing to scan his body. "No."

"You are."

"That's very sweet, Red, but-" She couldn't wait any longer. Her hand reached out to his chest, feeling it lightly to see where the bandaging was. "You need to rest."

He smiled. "Lizzie, please don't force me to sleep. We have far more important matters to attend to."

Her hands worked on his buttons, ignoring his comment. She pulled his shirt over his shoulders carefully, only to find his white undershirt. She rolled her eyes at him jokingly then grabbed the hem of it and lifted it over his head. Her eyes stopped on his left shoulder.

"That's a lot of bandage."

"They like to make it look worse than it is."

Lizzie swallowed. "How bad was it?"

"It wasn't bad." He responded. "I just became a little careless and allowed it to get infected."

Lizzie traced her fingers around the edge of the bandage. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need me to tell you, Lizzie."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"You were. You called me."

She gave him a look of regret. "I should have visited."

"Lizzie, you _called_ me. I didn't call you in ten weeks. I think you're being a little hard on yourself."

Phone calls were over rated, she mused to herself. The large grandfather clock made a loud 'ding' as it struck five o'clock. His gaze was steady and full of want but she could still see his exhaustion.

"I have to be up in three hours and you need to sleep."

He came closer to her and she allowed her fingers to play with the hairs on his chest.

"You really should sleep, Red."

"I'm going to be selfish here, Lizzie." He replied, closing the gap between them. "But I can't sleep just yet."

His lips pressed to hers and she melted into his gentle touch. Her hand ran down his back then back up and down again and she gave in.

* * *

She woke to his soft whispers, telling her it was eight in the morning and if she wanted to make it to work on time she should get up now. She kept her eyes closed in protest. She was snuggled between the back of the couch and his body and a lovely feeling blanket was covering them. She didn't know where it came from, but she suspected he must have retrieved it once she drifted off mere hours ago.

"Don't make me go," she mumbled against his chest. "I don't want to go back."

"It's not school," he chuckled.

"It's worse."

He rested his tired head on his hand. "Is this how you really feel Lizzie? Do you not like work?"

"I'd like it if things were different."

He gave her a smile when she finally opened her eyes. "We'll discuss our options tonight."

She begrudgingly sat up on the couch, a chill running over her bare shoulders. "We have options?"

"We always have options." His hand placed on her lower back and rubbed it gently to warm her. "Oh and thank you for last night, Lizzie, or perhaps it was early this morning."

She turned to him and smiled. "Yeah, I _really _had to force myself."

He rested back on the couch, chuckling and watching her hop up from the couch and try to drag the blanket with her. He held it tightly. "Not this time, Lizzie."

"But it's cold," she wrapped her arms around her breast.

"The shower temperature is fantastic." He told her. "I suggest you take a long one and warm up."

He recognised the distinct twinkle in her eyes as she fell back down under the covers with him.

"I have an idea."

"Do I want to hear this idea? And does it involve sleeping? Because if it does, I agree."

She rested her chin on his chest. "Come shower with me."

"Ohh...Lizzie..."

She nodded her head, her chin rocking on his chest. "It will be very enjoyable. I promise."

"What happened to me needing rest?"

She nodded and sat up, patting him lightly on the cheek. "You should rest. Good point."

"But on the other hand," Red weighed up his options, "I've always been very diligent of saving water."

"Yes, yes you have."

They soon made their way into the bathroom and Red opened up the cabinet. "Will it ruin the mood if I ask for your help to cover my bandages?"

Lizzie shook her head, "No. It will just take up more time. But did I tell you my car was failing to start the other day?"

He smiled. "Very rebellious Lizzie."


	11. Lucky Guess

Hi Hi :) Thank you so so much for the reviews again! They are amazing!

I'm not really sure where this fic ends haha like it could finish here but then i'm not sure because i feel there needs to be a Lizzie/Ressler talk/one of the reviews also said something about Lizzie buying her house which i need to do to..but then i have other ideas so im just unsure and just contemplating!

p.s-i really do apologise for grammar/punctuation and spelling mistakes. I've always been terrible at grammar. I'm actually taking a writing class at uni about it so hopefully i can improve!

Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist and The song Warm Love-Van Morrison.

Very fluffy ahead...

* * *

**Look at the ivy on the cold clinging wall**  
**Look at the flowers and the green grass so tall**  
**It's not a matter of when push comes to shove**  
**It's just an hour on the wings of a dove**

**I dig it when you're fancy dressed up in lace**  
**I dig it when you have a smile on your face**  
**This inspiration's got to be on the flow**  
**This invitation's got to see it and know**

**It's just warm love**  
**It's just warm love**  
**And it's everpresent everywhere**  
**And it's everpresent everywhere**  
**That warm love**

"Enough!" Cooper barked out in the moment of fury and frustration. He directed a fierce glare, first at Ressler, then towards Red. "I said that is enough."

"Sir," Ressler nodded, the faintest look of embarrassment sketched on his features as he took a step back from Reddington. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

Red remained silent. Although, a confident smile remained in place, just so Cooper wouldn't feel too authoritative in the situation. He also knew he had Lizzie staring at him, and he didn't want to play any coy games when she was around. He needed to cool it with Ressler, he knew, but sometimes that man! He turned his gaze towards Lizzie, she was giving him a warning look.

"Now I don't know what is going on," Cooper continued, his eyes switching from Ressler then back to Red. "But we have a new agent on the team and the last thing we need is for this constant bickering between you two. You are team, and whether you like each other or not." He paused and stared hard at Ressler. "Has nothing to do with it. Now Agent Ressler, take Agent Murphy, and check out Reddington's lead."

"Yes, sir." Ressler left quickly, glad to get away for a few hours. Danielle widened her eyes quickly to Lizzie then followed after him.

"Agent Keen," Cooper addressed. "I want to talk to you. In my office."

Her stomach flip-flopped. Having to talk to him in his office? That didn't sound good. "Yes sir."

He gave her a curt nod, ignored Red then left them standing there with Aram close by. "I wonder what that's about?" Aram wondered aloud.

Lizzie shrugged, trying to not act to bothered about it. But inside, inside she was freaking out and her inside twisted together in a nervous mess.

"I have no idea."

"Tell him to not keep you long, Lizzie." Red spoke as if she was about to go off for a friendly chat. "We have work to do."

"I'm not telling him that," Lizzie scoffed and turned on her heel. Was he dreaming? She followed Cooper quickly, not wanting to leave him waiting for whatever he wanted to talk about.

She started to feel sick.

* * *

"Agent Keen, please take a seat." Cooper gesture his outstretched hand to the seat opposite his own. She sat in it slowly, trying to act normal, comfortable. She hadn't done anything wrong. She had done a little...mistake. Just a small one.

"What's this about, Sir?"

"Your relationship with Reddington."

She felt her eyes twitch, and her body flush with a discomforting heat. She licked her suddenly dry lips and forced herself to not clasp her hands together and stroke nervously on her scar. His face remained the same: Still, serious and scary.

"Our relationship?"

"You told me he killed your father, Agent Keen."

Lizzie flickered her eyes away from his penetrating stare. She didn't want to talk about her father. Not here, not now, and not with him.

She nodded. "Yes." She swallowed thickly. "It's been a long time since then."

He gave a tight-lipped smile and let out a deep, almost soothing sigh but she still felt on edge. "Reddington told me a few days ago you were still struggling with it. That's why he had not come in." He gave her a warm smile. "I didn't believe few infected stitches would keep him away."

_Red had said that?_

"He was my dad," she nodded truthfully, finding it a lot easier to speak when she was being honest. "He's the only person who has ever really.. loved me." Okay, she lied there but apart from Red, this was the truth. This was how she had felt. "It was difficult to comprehend that he had gone, sir. To someone who knows everything about my life and I don't know anything about theirs. I think anyone in my position would find that hard, sir."

"Of course," he nodded. "I'm not saying otherwise."

"But he was dying," she swallowed. "And I think that even how hard it is to accept, he wanted to go. He needed to go."

"Reddington, he knew your father, you say?"

"Apparently."

"You're in a difficult situation, Agent Keen."

You don't know the half of it, she wanted to say, but she very easily decided against that and just nodded.

"Are you still willing to work with him?"

"I'm here now aren't I?"

"Yes." he paused and leaned forward, his arms leaning on his desk. "Agent Keen, are you sleeping?"

"Excuse me?"

"I asked if you were sleeping."

"Um-" she hesitated. She didn't look that bad did she?

"I want you to take the rest of the week off."

"What? No, no. I'm sleeping. I'm fine, sir. Really."

"We have things covered here. Now it's not a suggestion, Agent Keen, it's an order."

"I want to work."

"There will be no discussion. Just enjoy your time off, please. Get some rest."

"Reddington might have information."

"That will sort itself out." Cooper smiled. "Now go home and we will see you here on Monday."

* * *

She fumed as she stormed past Aram sitting at his computer and Red, who was smelling his hot beverage he had just purchased from the coffee machine. His nose crinkled and he put it down on Aram's desk.

"Lizzie?"

"Not now, Red."

She kept walking and shut the door to her office with a sharp thud. She didn't want to go home. She had no home! She had an annoying hotel that she had slowly started to resent in the past few weeks. She hastily grabbed her bag off of her desk and stuffed two jackets that she had left a few weeks ago in it.

The handle on her office door turned as she mumbled something about not even being that tired.

"You seem far too angry for someone who just got six days off work, Lizzie."

"Did you tell him?" She looked up. "Is that why he's sent me home? Did you tell him I was _tired?_"

"I think I used the word fatigued."

"You had no right!" She said loudly and he closed the door behind him to not bring attention. "I'm perfectly capable to make my own decisions!"

"Lizzie, calm down." He spoke smoothly. "It's six days and I'm not going to apologise, because you need it."

"I want to work. We have a case." She replied evenly. "Now Ressler's going to be even more suspicious."

"You told me that you didn't want to come in this morning?" He questioned.

"That's what everyone says when their alarm goes off." She threw her hand bag over her shoulder, her jackets spilling out as she moved towards the door.

"Would you like a lift?"

"No. I'm sure I'm _capable_ enough to drive home."

Red didn't bother arguing so he held the door open for her. "I will see you tonight?"

"What's happening tonight?" She started to brush past him but he caught her hand quickly. "Be at mine at six. Or five thirty if you're feeling _that_ bored, Lizzie."

His touch soothed her and she felt her anger seep away slightly.

"I might be too tired."

She was still a little angry.

* * *

Okay, she wasn't going to lie. She felt a lot better. After a day of rest on the couch watching marathons of reality t.v and the odd documentary, indulging in the easy, efficient room service she felt quite pleasant. She slept half the day as well, which welcomed because the amount of hours she had of sleep last night was next to nothing. Red text her once, a few hours ago, asking if she was still upset with him. She replied, 'yes' more for herself so she didn't have to admit he was yet anyway.

At six o'clock (she wasn't going to give him the pleasure by arriving at five-thirty.) She parked her car outside his house. It was drizzling outside and she left the window wipers on slow as she put her car in park. He was at her door before she even had the time to unbuckle her seat belt. Pulling it open widely for her and he smiled, immediately noticing she had slept. The pale rings under her eyes had lessened and her cheeks held that same rosy colour they usually did when she was feeling well.

"Good evening, Lizzie." He admired the way her hair sat up in a high bun on the top of her head and her face was free of any makeup. You look beautiful, sweetheart."

She stared at him.

"How was your day? Did you get time to rest?"

She gave him a knowing smile and shook her head. "Do you want me to tell say you were right?"

"Not at all," he helped her out of the car and opened the back door to help retrieve her overnight bag. "I was just curious."

"You're always curious."

"And so are you."

* * *

"No, that will not be needed. You have exceeded yourself Ren, Grazie. We must meet again sometime soon and share recipes."

Lizzie waited patiently half down the hallway for Red to finish his call. She had been in his room swapping her tight jeans for shorts and her red coat for a long-sleeved top. When she was sure he had hung up she carried on down the hall and leant against the frame in the doorway. She watched him unbutton his grey vest and free his cuff links. She looked down at her own sleep wear and smiled. He told her to get comfortable. That didn't mean he was going to. Red must have sensed her presence because he turned around and smiled brightly.

"Hi," she smiled. Her earlier tantrum at work forgotten. She now blamed it on lack of sleep.

"Lizzie." He strode towards her as she stood in the doorway. "Look at this."

He seemed excited about something so she took his offered hand and he led her across the room and around the sofa.

"Oh-" Her lips parted as she peered down at the floor. There was food everywhere. With wine and candles, all set out on a soft, white rug on the floor. This was the last thing she had expected. The heat from the fire reached out and warmed her cool legs and she smiled because he knew how much she had enjoyed the fire last night. She held on to his hand a little tighter.

"What's all of this?"

"Now, I didn't make _everything_. I had a few people make all the small tapas, and oh-" he leant down and moved one of the small dishes towards an empty plate that she guessed was hers. "You must try this pasta Lizzie. Ren, a fabulous man, made his mother's recipe. It's just divine. You must try. Come, sit."

"Wow, Red. Really?"

He tugged her hand down and she moved to sit comfortably on the plush rug. "I didn't know you were doing all of this."

Red let her hand go and moved around to the other side of the rug so he sat opposite her. He started to roll his sleeves up but decided against it and started unbuttoning his shirt instead. Comfortable, is what he was going for tonight, so he pulled his shirt off and folded it neatly on the couch. Leaving him in his short-sleeved undershirt.

"You seemed captivated by the fire yesterday. I thought it was only fair to have dinner beside it."

"But this is amazing," she looked down at the array of dishes before her. There was seafood and thin strips of marinated meats, stuffed peppers, pasta, roasted tomatoes and lots of little dishes she couldn't even explain. "What's under there?" She pointed at the only covered plate.

"Your favourite dessert."

She raised her eyebrows. "Cheesecake?"

"Dembe, and I made it this morning." He told her.

She smiled at him. "You and Dembe?"

"The man loves to bake, Lizzie. I'm going to buy him an apron however, he makes an awful mess."

She chuckled and reached her hand forward towards the dish.

"Don't look at it yet." He said quickly. "It might be a disaster. I don't want it to be an ugly distraction from the rest of the food."

"Aw," she smiled at him. "I highly doubt you could make anything bad...but this is really nice, Red. I know you don't want me to say it, but you really didn't have to go to so much trouble."

He nodded slowly, stretching his legs out to the side as he leant on his left hand. "Try something."

She kept her eyes on him. "Red.." She felt the need to thank him properly, tell him that this was incredibly romantic, that he was being incredibly romantic.

"Try something."

She chuckled lightly. "Okay." She took a few spoons of the dishes she didn't recognise, hoping he'd appreciate her being adventurous. She dished them on her plate as he filled up their glasses with wine. She made sure to taste some of pasta he recommended first.

"Woah." She stared at him as she chewed on her mouthful. "That has to be the best pasta I have ever tried." She looked down at the dish wondering what ingredients were in it. It looked so simple but the flavours were outstanding.

He nodded in agreement, smiling at her. "It is."

* * *

"Thank you for talking to Cooper," she said through their comfortable silence they had formed. Only commenting on small things like how lovely the food was and how long it took for Red to get the fire going. "Even though I was mad at first. It was a good idea."

He smiled softly. "I also told him, Lizzie, that you were struggling with-"

"I know," she cut in when he seemed to approach it cautiously. "It's okay."

"He was asking questions why I was speaking to him and not you. I'm sorry if it was inappropriate to bring it up."

"It's fine, Red, really." She assured him. "It was a good idea."

He nodded, appreciating her acceptance.

Lizzie went for another roasted cherry tomato but found none left on her plate or on the dish in the middle of the spread. They were so nice! Where had they all gone? She eyed one last cherry tomato on his plate and reached over with her fork to stab it. She grinned in triumph as she brought it up to her lips and plopped it in her mouth.

"That was my last one."

"Whoops."

"You're lucky I like you."

* * *

Lizzie lay on her stomach, so full and so satisfied from dinner that she could barely move. She wasn't at the regret stage though, and she would still happily eat dessert.

"I'm so full."

"That's what happens when you steal other people's tomatoes."

"Tomato," she corrected, resting the side of her face on the carpet as she looked across at him.

He chuckled deeply and she enjoyed the sound. But it stopped quickly and when she glanced back up at him she was met with a very solemn look. No trace of a smile. However, his eyes were warm and affable so she kept her eyes on them, wondering what stopped him so abruptly.

"Lizzie," He chewed on the inside of his mouth. "Lizzie-" His fingers tore off a small piece of bread and he threw it into the fire. "How did you want to move forward with Agent Ressler? What do you want to do?"

"He can't know," She responded.

"He already does."

"But I," she paused, turning to watch him pick at the bread on his plate and throw each small piece into the fire. "I told him I didn't love you and that it was a mistake and..I basically said everything I told you the other night. I lied."

He finished with his throwing game and picked up his glass of wine. "Good."

"I'm sorry for ever saying that to you." She eyed his wine glass as it raised to his parted lips. "I didn't mean to hurt you and at the time..I wasn't thinking straight."

"I know, sweetheart." He took a small sip of his wine then rested it on the coaster. "How are we going to act around each other at work?"

"Professionally?" She answered, hesitantly. What did he mean? _Friendly?_ Even that was pushing it with Ressler around.

He nodded.

"What do you think?"

"I want to do what you want to, Lizzie." He replied. "If anything happens however, I need to know what you want to do."

"If Ressler tells?"

"Exactly that," he nodded. "I'm sorry to talk about this now over dinner, but I think we need to work out a basic plan of some sorts."

"I don't know what I want to do." Lizzie replied quickly, she hadn't thought about. She _should_ have thought about it. "I didn't think I'd have much choice.." If Cooper found out that would be it. Everything would be over.

He stayed silent for a moment, contemplating on how he should approach his next question. He didn't want to scare her. Not ever and not now. Not when he had just gotten her back.

"Lizzie. If you suspect Ressler is going to tell. Or if anything ever seems off to you. You need to call me right away."

She nodded slowly. "Would we run away?"

He lifted his gaze and watched her intently, trying to gage some sort of reaction. The only response he could read, didn't put his mind at ease.

"Would you want to?"

She didn't answer and he watched her sip the last of her wine, avoiding his gaze. He didn't want to push, or force her to answer so he let it slide and silently refilled her glass when she placed it on her coaster. Usually, he could carry the conversation on with a breeze and act as if nothing had just happened. But there was something about her silence that unsettled him, put him on edge. His mind clouded with dark thoughts and the terrible complications they could meet if she didn't want to leave.

His night of wining and dining seemed to dry out and they sat their drinking their wine in an awkward silence. There wasn't any tension, nor any anger but there was definitely something. And Red internally scolded himself for bringing it up tonight. She would still be tired, exhausted even and the last thing she needed was more thoughts to keep her awake at night. He wanted to reach out for her, to hold her and tell her not to worry. That it would be easy. He would make it easy for her. But it wouldn't, and he couldn't promise that.

She was staring at the fire a thousand thoughts racing through her mind and she could feel him watching her. She just needed a minute, or two, or ten. They were going on about twelve minutes now but his strong gaze never faltered once. Though she didn't know he was at a loss for words.

He cleared his throat. "How about some cheesecake?"

"Lizzie?" He repeated when she remained still and rigid.

Her head snap towards him and she slowly nodded. "Yes. What? Sorry?"

"Would you like some cheesecake?"

"Oh, Yes. Please."

He pulled off the foil on the glass dish that held the thoughtful desert. "I apologise for putting you on the spot." He said as he carefully cut two pieces. "I know it's probably the last thing you want to think about now."

She shifted on to her knees and for a split second his hand stilled. But she stayed on her knees and moved around next to him. Her soft hand reached out and covered his own, stopping him from sliding the dessert on to the clean plate. He dropped the knife and it clinked on the plate the sound going unnoticed. Her hand curled around his hand and she slowly entwined her fingers with his.

She moved closer to him, her bare legs crossing as she sat next to him and as her knee bobbed nervously it tapped his thigh each time it moved down. Her crept forward carefully and she pressed it lightly on his foreman.

"I would go anywhere with you."

Red wasn't sure whether to smile or not because it wouldn't be the most ideal situation if they had to leave. They would be looking for him, but they would be looking for her and making her a target, making her risk everything for a relationship with him. It was hard to let the guilt pass, impossible even.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't feel bad or whatever you're feeling." She replied. "Because if you weren't here, if I had never met you. I honestly don't know where I would be right now."

"Don't sell yourself short, Lizzie. You would be-"

"I would still be married to Tom."

"You don't know that."

She shrugged. "I don't know, but I probably would be."

He wasn't sure how to respond but he needed her to know he worried. For her.

"I struggle to sleep when I think about you, Lizzie." His voice was low and rocky. "When I think about all I am putting you through. After everything that happened with Tom."

"I don't want you to think that."

"But I find it unbearable, and completely impossible to sleep if you are not with me." He eyes blinked slowly. "And that is very selfish of me."

She shook her head faintly. "It's not." She replied. "I promise you it's not."

* * *

Lizzie kissed him softly, her lips moving slowly over his. Her heart raced from the moment, at their closeness and his words. Her breathing slowed each time her lips brushed over his and she adored the feeling of his hands on her thighs. Her own hand came into contact with his cheek and she traced gentle lines along his skin with her finger tips. He mustn't have shaved this morning because his skin was rough and she quite enjoyed the feeling under her fingers.

Before he could get more comfortable and deepen the kiss she pulled away and chuckled.

"God. I can't believe I use to sit like this as a child." She uncrossed her legs and stretched them out so they were laying across his already outstretched legs.

Red chuckled with her and helped her get comfortable. He gently massaged his hand along her smooth legs. "I know it will be hard if we ever have to leave, Lizzie, but I will try to not let that happen."

"I know," she replied looking down at his hands moving along her legs. "I would get up and leave now if I had to."

"Lets hope that doesn't happen."

"Yeah," She nodded.

He smiled warmly at her and reached for the plate of cheesecake, resting it on her legs. "Please, try this before you make any rash decisions about agreeing to leave if things get out of hand, Lizzie. Because if it's not up to your expectations, you might want to change your mind."

"Hmmph," she smiled at him and happily dug the spoon into the piece of cheesecake. "How did you know white chocolate and berries was my favourite flavour?"

"Lucky guess."

She raised an eyebrow. "Sure."

He chuckled because it really was a lucky guess. He didn't know everything about her, not the small things. Some of the most important things. It was a nice thought to have, to hold, because he wanted to know everything about her. He favourite colour, her favourite movie and book. Perhaps her evening routine before bed and what she liked to do on her time off. Did she like the spring or the winter? Maybe the summer? Autumn? What was her favourite non-alcoholic beverage?

"You know," Lizzie nodded, breaking him out from his thoughts. "This is _really_ good." She took another spoon and she didn't mind that he was watching her as she ate. "Gosh." He legs wriggled over his in excitement. "I love it and you...but mostly it."

He laughed again, his heart feeling light and full at the same time. He allowed himself to wallow in this peace. That something about Lizzie eating cheesecake half on his lap, was the most wonderful experience that he had the pleasure of witnessing in a long, long time.

"That's good, Lizzie."

"Are you going to have some?" She asked, resting her empty bowl next to her.

He reached out and tucked the stray hair that had fallen out-of-place. He tucked it behind her ear. "Soon."

"Before or after the kiss you're going to give me."

"How did you know?" He breathed out, the need to be close to her suddenly overwhelming.

"Lucky guess."


	12. You

**Hi! Thanks for the reviews again! I decided to make this a final, short closing chapter! I might do some one shots with this story though! Thanks for the reviews throughout anyway. I really appreciate them! This is just a closing sort of chap so hope it's not boring!**

**Don't own the Blacklist! I have no song for this one i just listened to a bunch of happy songs! :D**

**Thank you!**

* * *

Lizzie held her head high as she walked into work on Monday morning. She had her six days off (They went a lot quicker than she would have liked) But she was refreshed, happy, and ready to work. Over the weekend Red had convinced her to enjoy their time together, and not let the possible consequences for their actions to invade her mind. He wanted her happy and that meant at work as well. If they were to get caught, Red would whisk her away. He promised. And she knew he would do just that. She trusted him undoubtedly, and he trusted her when she told him she wouldn't hesitate to leave if they had to.

So this morning she got out of bed with a leap in her step. Although, she didn't get very far because Red tugged on her arm and insisted she must come back to bed. Just for half an hour, he said.

She caught herself smiling widely and blush profusely, hoping no one had seen. Red and her were at a sort of stage in their relationship, where...she didn't know how to put it romantically, or in some form of lovely poetry, but she just couldn't keep her hands off him. Vice versa. Once kiss, lead to two kiss, and two kisses, lead to three kisses and three kisses lead to...She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts.

"Hey," She knocked on Ressler's door to his office. It was open so she let herself in.

"You found something?" Ressler asked, the lines creasing on his forehead as he shut the lid of his laptop. "This guy is invisible."

"No," she shook her head and took a seat. "Aram is close to something apparently. He's hacking the guys computer system or something along those lines." She chuckled because she had no clue what Aram did with computers. "But..uh, do you think we can talk?"

"About Reddington?"

"Yeah."

"Sure," Ressler nodded awkwardly. "Look, i'll act more civil towards him if that's what you want."

Liz gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks. I know he can be-"

"Smug? Infuriating? A pain in the ass?" Ressler supplied.

"...sure." Lizzie smiled. "But we aren't, what I did was a mistake and one I won't-"

"Liz," Ressler interrupted quickly. "I think it's best if you don't tell me anything. I don't want to know because I don't know if I will believe it. You told me you _loved_ him."

Lizzie watched him carefully unsure of how to continue. She felt bad for lying to him but it was something she needed to do. Regardless of the fact that he was her friend. But now he didn't want to hear it? She hoped she wasn't that see through. He was right thought. The word love wasn't something you throw around willy nilly.

"Look, I trust you." Ressler said. "And strangely enough I trust Reddington. I trust him to help us with all these cases but that's where it stops. I know he saved my life and I know somewhere under that whole charade of his, he is a fairly decent guy. But I'd rather stay in the dark about you two."

Lizzie nodded. "Okay."

"But if he hurts you, Liz, I don't know how to help you."

Lizzie nodded again passing him a small smile. "Thanks Ressler."

"I have something! People! I've done it!" Aram called out from his office.

* * *

"Lizzie," Red said as he looked out the front window of her car. "I'm feeling uncomfortable about the direction we are going."

"You're feeling uncomfortable because Dembe's not driving."

"That's not true." He protested. "But this is a little way out-of-town, sweetheart. I can't imagine a single romantic spot along this road."

"Why?"

"The road is very bumpy."

"I like it."

Red sniffed and tapped his fingers on his thigh. His mind wandered and soon he had that faraway look in his eyes. She got got comfortable in her seat, she knew him well. Story time.

"I once, Lizzie, had a ten-hour journey on a road very similar to this. I was in a very cramped van off to visit a man about a herb."

"A herb?"

"Coriander," he nodded. "That story is for another time." He smiled and Lizzie gave him an amused look.

"Anyway, I must have sat awkwardly because I tweaked my back. I couldn't move for two weeks but this wonderful women, very attractive she was, did a form of Reiki on me. I wouldn't believe it at first, but it was a very spiritual practise Lizzie, and the pain was gone instantly! Within the hour."

Lizzie glanced at him and smiled. "Well this is a fifteen minute drive Red. I'm sure you will be alright. But I do promise to hire an attractive woman to relieve you of any pain if you do happen to tweak your back. "

"That will not be necessary. You have very capable hands, Lizzie, and your attractiveness would exceed any."

"Charming." Lizzie replied with a nonchalant shrug. She was glad it was dark however, because she could feel the heat on her cheeks. She still hadn't got quite use to his compliments and she wasn't sure if she ever would.

"I do try."

"Right, here we are." Lizzie smiled excitedly and turned off down a driveway. "Please go in with a positive attitude, Red. And no comparing it to your place."

"Excuse me? Lizzie," he leaned forward and peered out the front window. "I thought you said you had booked us a hotel? I quite vividly remember you saying it was a hotel."

Lizzie smiled as she drove slowly down the driveway, her lights full beam. Apparently there were a few wild cats around and she didn't want to hit any by accident.

"I tricked you."

"Did you buy a house?" His tone portrayed his shock and he stared at her with such wide eyes she had to try hard not to laugh. She tilted her head casually, loving that she had caught him off guard.

"Maybe."

She parked her car just outside the small garage and let the headlights shine on the small bungalow house. She watched Red open his door and hop out without saying a word. Her eyes followed him as he crossed driveway and walked over to the small lawn. His feet squished the grass and she heard him give off a little 'hmm'. She rolled her eyes. Turning the headlights off, she grabbed her handbag and walked up to the front door. Red had meanwhile started inspecting the outside of the house once the outdoor light had clicked on. She wondered if he did this with every house he brought or if he left it up to someone else.

Finally finding the right key, she unlocked the front door and turned on the first light. The house still made her smile.

He didn't say anything when he followed her in, and she wasn't sure if he was scrutinising, or admiring it. She, however, was still in awe over her little house. It surprisingly had two storeys which when looking from the outside was hard to believe. It had one master bedroom, a smaller one, a decent sized lounge and a nice open planned kitchen, with a small dining room.

There was something about the house that just felt right. to her. When the agent showed her around it didn't take long to win her over. But she did 'um' and 'ah' as she looked around, trying to not act too interested. She put an offer in two days later.

"So what's the verdict?" She asked, placing her keys on the bench top. "Obviously there's no furniture yet but I think with a little work it will be really nice."

"May I look around the rest of the house?"

She nodded. "Sure."

Lizzie then grabbed her keys again, remembering the food and wine they left in the car. She walked back in carrying the wine, glasses and take out. Cooking for Red was what she had wanted to do but she had nothing in her fridge and all her appliances were still stored away in the storage sheds. They were both late coming back from work and when Red suggested Chinese, she couldn't think of a single objection.

She heard the patter of footsteps coming towards her and she kept herself busy pouring the wine into two glasses. His strong arms slid around her midsection from behind, his chest pressing lightly against her back. He leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"Your fire-place is fabulous."

She grinned. "I knew you would approve."

"I think the house has a lot of character, Lizzie." He said, leaving his arms around her waist but looking up from her and around the kitchen. "I think it was an excellent choice. I do however," he rested his chin back on her shoulder. "Have no idea how you managed to keep it from me."

"Well I can be very secretive you see." She turned in his arms and passed over his wine. "But I wanted it to be a surprise and i had Dembe help."

"For me?" He questioned, somewhat confused.

"Kind of," she didn't elaborate but clinked her wine glass lightly against his. "I wanted to have everything in here first before i showed you. But I was so excited I couldn't wait."

Red smiled with her. His heart warmed at the passion she showed for her new home. He watched with wonder as she sniffed her wine and swirled it before bringing it to her lips. His head tilted at her little routine and how knowledgeable she had become with her wines.

"Good wine," she nodded.

"Indeed." He replied. Although he had spent his time watching her instead of trying his. He looked over her shoulder at the chinese takeout. "Shall we take this into the other room?"

"There aren't any tables," she quirked a smile.

Red took a step back from her and reached forward to place his wine on the bench. He grabbed the take out containers and the plastic forks that had been thrown in to the bag.

"We can make do." He replied, carrying the food through to the other room while Lizzie picked up his wine glass up and followed him. "We've had dinner on the floor before."

"That's when we had a thick rug to sit on," Lizzie responded. "But I'm happy to see your enthusiasm with the place," She smiled teasingly.

Red huffed a quiet laugh and sat on the wooden floor. "I will have Dembe bring some firewood around for you tomorrow."

"Oh, thank you." She sat down next to him, resting her lower arm on his thigh and crossing her legs to one side.

"I use to live in a very similar home to this when I was young," He told her. "I was ten years old and it was a house full of secret rooms and basements. It was made for children that house."

She smiled at him and he knew it was because he had shared something from his past.

"I'm glad I chose this one then." She replied, briefly wondering what Red would have been like as a child. She sipped her wine as she pondered. He would have been adventurous, and probably quite the talkative, mischievous kid.

Red pulled the lids off each dish and picked up one of the plastic forks, he twirled it in his fingers, before passing it to her.

"I'm going to have to move houses again," he spoke. "Which is unfortunate I was just starting to feel at home in the one i'm in now."

"Really?"

"I've been there for a while." He responded. "It's probably fine but I would rather not risk it."

"Hm," Lizzie nodded, pushing her fork into the sweet and sour dish and lifting the food into her mouth. She placed her hand just under her chin incase she spilled anything. "That's annoying."

"Why did you decide to move further from town?" Red asked.

Lizzie had already asked herself this question. Before she brought the house she wondered why she was looking for somewhere further from work. It was a twenty-minute drive compared to her usual five. But it didn't take her long to answer.

"I was sick of being in the middle of everything. It was busy and loud. I thought I'd like having a more quiet home to come back to after work. It's private and sort of cozy. I really like it."

Red nodded, stealing some of the sweet and sour dish sitting on Lizzie's lap.

"And I was thinking," Lizzie started slowly, passing him the dish he was reaching for. "That it's sort of hidden away from everything so, you know, you can stay here lots and considering I don't have to move destinations every few months like you," she swallowed the small noodle that caught in her throat. "Then you can sort of call this place your home..if you want to that is."

Red stared at her and she flustered under his intense gaze.

"I'm not saying you have to move in. I'm just saying you can at least have somewhere stable." Her eyes flickered nervously. "It's just a suggestion..and I know we might have to both move one day anyway."

Red's lips turned up into a warm smile."Would you calm down?"

"I am calm."

"You're not giving me the time to get a word out."

"Because I don't want to hear you telling me how dangerous it would be."

"I'm not that predictable am I? And I have you know, sweetheart, I wasn't going to mention that."

"What were you going to mention then?"

"Lizzie," He took the wine glass from her grip and placed it on the ground. He brushed his hands on his pants then took her hands in his. "I'm being entirely sincere when I tell you, Lizzie, that I have never met a more compassionate person than you." He nodded seriously. "I've never met any one as wonderful as you."

"You've met a lot of people." She replied, looking down at their hands. "A lot of bad people may I add."

He chuckled at her, not surprised at all when her modesty brushed off his compliment. He squeezed her hands. "I've met a lot of good people as well and I will continue to do so." He answered. "But I will never meet anyone quite like you, Lizzie."

* * *

"I have to tell you something." Lizzie said quietly as she shifted under the covers into his warm embrace. She had a bed. The only piece of furniture in the entire house and Red had teased her nonstop about what she was 'expecting to happen here tonight.'

Red was sitting up in her bed, his back resting against the wall. His skin feeling blissful against her cotton sheets. He was helping her read through the reports for work she needed to catch up on. He could clearly see it was the last thing on her mind, however and he didn't blame her. He stretched his arm around her shoulders.

"Hm? What is it?"

"I'm in love with you," she pulled the papers out from his hand and threw them. She watched them scatter on the floor before looking back up to him.

"I thought you had to read those before tomorrow? And I know you do." He raised an eyebrow but smiled, because he always found himself smiling when she told him she loved him.

Lizzie shook her head. "No," she wrapped her arms around his bare chest, and stretched one leg over his waist. "I've never had as strong of feelings for anyone, as I do for you."

He quickly pulled her on top of him and rested his hands on the back of her silk top. "I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Wine makes you very flirty, Lizzie."

Her eyebrows knitted together. "That's not true."

"It's true."

"Really?"

"Positive."

"Oh."

She rolled off him and he reached down for the papers on the floor. She watched him pick them up and shuffle them into a pile. She pouted and let out a groan.

"Fine. Keep reading and can we start from the beginning because I don't think I was listening."

"I'm not reading them Lizzie. We don't have time for that." He pushed them under the bed and out of sight. He moved next to her and hovered his face just above hers. "I reciprocate the feelings, Lizzie."

She smiled up at him and she reached her hand up to touch his cheek. She felt his cheek raise under her fingers as he smiled.

"I'm really happy," she whispered.

"I can tell," he leaned down and kissed her lips slowly. "And it makes me undeniably happy, beautiful."

Her hand curled around the nape of his neck and she released the smallest of moans when his hand traveled up her camisole.

"The privacy this house has is remarkable."

Lizzie smiled into the kiss, then open her mouth finding his tongue immediately. She touched him with her hands everywhere on his chest. Around his back and up his sides.

"Hm, Red-" She trailed her lips down his neck. "I want you so bad right now."

Red groaned. "Lizzie, that sort of talk is not going to make me last, sweetheart."

"We can go slowly." Lizzie moved her hands down between them and unbuckled his pants. "I love you."

Red gripped the hem of her shirt and slipped it over her head.

"I love you, Lizzie."


End file.
